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Is Mohanji a Real Guru?

Written by Yashik Singh

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This is a question that we all ask at some point in our relationship with Mohanji. Whether we are disciples, devotees, well wishers, just curious or even cynical, at some time in our contact with Mohanji we will ask if he is really a Guru, or someone we can just learn from or just another fraud. In my experience, Mohanji himself, does not make it easy with his all so subtle ways and teachings. There are no lightning bolts from the sky or him going into a trance and speaking differently or him levitating (well, usually). He just is … He is simple and unassuming. And in his simplicity, the mind and intellect will naturally ask this question: Is Mohanji a real Guru?

Mohanji 55

He is so simple and unassuming.

Mohanji - Ami Imzaia
Before we go on, we should quickly define a guru. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a Guru as “a religious teacher and spiritual guide in Hinduism”. But in truth a Guru is much more than this. There have been many interpretations to the word Guru (and thus the role). Some say “Gu” means darkness and “Ru” means light, indicating that the Guru takes you from darkness into light.

Mohanji - Sharon Pillai

The Guru Gita says “Gu” means beyond qualities and “Ru” means devoid of form, thus giving attributes to the Guru. Guru also means “heavy” or “weighty”, and thus is compared to a weight that holds paper down and prevents it from flying away. A Guru similarly holds the disciples mind down and prevents it from flying away with the senses.
In the musings of my mind, I sat thinking about this. I asked myself if Mohanji is a real Guru.

Mohanji - Neha Parekh

If I thought about all the things I have read about Mohanji then the answer is easy, but I wanted to assess this from my own personal experience. I began thinking about things that I perceived directly about Mohanji to answer this question. As always, we should look at the examples of beings that we trust to objectively assess a situation. Who better to ask about a Guru than Hanumanji and Vibhisanji. They were supreme devotees, praised by everyone. If they reached such heights of spiritual glory, they certainly will be able to teach us how to choose a Guru.

Hanumanji, the one who is the repository of incomparable strength, all the virtues and good qualities,  the foremost among knowledgeable beings

Hanumanji, the one who is the repository of incomparable strength, all the virtues and good qualities, the foremost among knowledgeable beings

Hanumanji first served Sugreeva who was hiding in a cave from his brother Bali. At this time Hanumanji’s powers remained dormant and Sugreeva could not manifest them in Hanumanji. But as soon as Hanumanji met Shri Ram, he knew that he was his master and Shri Ram manifested Hanumanji’s dormant abilities. This teaches us two very important lessons. A true Guru is one that does not have any fear and secondly has the ability to manifest change in a disciple. Can I find these qualities in Mohanji from my own experience?

Mohanji - Zoran Stefanovski

When Mohanji was in South Africa, we were driving together to the Ganesha temple. On our way, at a four way intersection, an oncoming car sudden turns to his right, even though we had right of way. I slammed the break, and stopped before hitting him. Then I noticed Mohanji’s arm stretched over my chest. This was Mohanji’s instinctive reaction to protect me rather than placing his hands over himself to protect his own body. This shows the absence of fear for himself and protection for someone else, just like Shri Ram.

sri ram

Sri Ram

A few days ago while at gym, I was looking at someone swimming in the pool. I was using the bicycle closest to the pool and looking at the swimmer and the water. Then suddenly it struck me. I am near water! I have a phobia for large bodies of water and before Mohanji I found it very difficult to even walk near a pool. I used to feel dizzy and nauseas. But now, without even realising it, I’m cycling near a large swimming pool. Ok so that is a check for Hanumanji’s two lessons.

Vibhishana_as_King_of_Lanka

Vibhisana as King of Lanka

Vibishan was very dedicated to Ravana until he learned of Shri Ram. He left Ravana and took shelter under Shri Ram’s feet. Ravana eventually kicked Vibishan out of Lanka but Shri Ram made him King of Lanka. This teaches us many things, one of which is that a true Guru is not egotistical and freely gives to his disciple. It is not just about knowledge. Ravan was a brilliant scholar, even greater than most sages of his time, but Vibishan still left him. In Mohanji, you do not find a trace of egotistical personality traits or a power mongering nature. And this is shown by what makes Mohanji and his tradition special: Shaktipat. Mohanji never once said that it is vital that only he is there physically to give shaktipat. Neither did he ever say that if he is not physically present we must use a photo of him. No instead he initiated people to act as mediums. Why was this necessary? He could have dominated and shown absolute power if he did not do this. Mohanji does not need me or other initiates to be there to deliver shaktipat. But because Mohanji has no ego, because it is his nature to give, and because he loves us…he honours us with the ability to act as a facilitator for shaktipat. So he fulfills Vibishanas lessons too.

Mohanji
Scripture declares a Guru as having three qualities: (1) “One whose vision (all five senses) is stable without the need of an object of desire (even God) for staring”; (2) one whose mind is stable without meditation or any need for any support”; and (3) one whose Prana (breath or energy) is stable without performing conscious Pranayama, She or He alone is the Yogi, or the Guru worthy of our attention and services.” I have seen all these three qualities in Mohanji.

Mohanji - Manjari Rao

Mohanji’s senses are all under complete control. When he stayed in South Africa, I noticed that he was equally happy whether you gave him bread and butter or a meal with five curries to eat. Although in physical pain and tired, he still conducted all the meditations he had to, went to all the functions he had to and fulfilled his obligations. So that fulfils the first criteria.
As for the second quality, we all have seen pictures of his brain wave scan that scientifically show that his mind is always in a meditative state. Mohanji mind is always under control. MohanJi has scolded me and a second later he was praising me. He never gets angry the way we do. His mind is always still.

Mohanji - Deloshni Govender
And finally the third quality. I have never seen Mohanji do any pranayama. But his prana is so balanced and strong that when he did pranpratishta at Merudada Ashram, I felt cold marble murthis turn warm and a hot “breeze” shoot out of a linga.
Of course there are more incidents that confirm all this but I wanted to only use what I experienced and saw with my own eyes. And from all of this, undoubtedly, MOHANJI IS A SADGURU.

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Mohanji - Carolyn De Leo

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Unconditionality Sparks Transformation in Canada

Divinity is the one thing which never changes, which is never absent, in which we exist. But we are not aware of it, or we are only momentarily aware of it, we often forget. To remind us of this simple fact divinity or existence takes the guise of a Master or Sadh Guru and comes into our lives like an explosion, or like a huge wave that washes over us and leaves us transformed, reminding us how loved and cared for we are, how protected and guided. It usually comes unexpectedly, seemingly out of the blue, when we most need it and when we are most receptive to Divine Presence. Afterwards everything is different, essentially because we are different, we’ve had a taste of unconditional love and a glimpse of the Supreme Consciousness. This is how Mohanji came to Canada, with this purpose, with this unconditionality and Love. Many were eagerly awaiting his arrival, many knew little to nothing about him and were inexplicably drawn. Still others were directed to him via messages from Higher Masters like Sai Baba and many simply found themselves at Mohanji’s feet, basking in His Love.
Here are a few experiences and expressions of the effect that Mohanji has had on our family in Canada:

Our Moments with Poojya Sri Sri Mohanji

Written by Manjari Deepak Parekh

Mohanji in Canada group photo

In Toronto, BTW Canada

It happens without prior design.
Divinity showers upon us.
No deserving ability. But Purity and Piousness embrace us at the doorstep.
Such Grace and Bliss we perpetually experience. Here and Now.
We felt the presence of our parents in whom we have not only seen eternity, but they are our Lord. Can we expect more?
2013-01 - Mohanji - Wayanad - Retreat (79)
When your master paves the path to embrace Eternity and takes on a deep dive into the unknown. Meeting Sri Sri Mohanji is just an enchanting and joyous experience.
“No, no, no.” We would exclaim. Proclaim profoundly that it is Existence itself, as experience vanishes into Hiranya Garbha of the Lord of time, where Existence is beyond enchanting time, beyond space and boundless.

Mohanji in Canada 2

We express humility and devotion, but WE are blessed when Mohanji receives our expressions.

We take this moment to express our gratitude to Poojya Sri, by shedding our tears of Joy at the feet of our master, coupled with eyes that weep and long for his Darshan while HE is beyond vision.

What we can do but aspire to be with HIM. Until we feather away in the winds of Time immemorial.

May we bow down to Lord Guru Dattatreyji with utmost sincerity and devotion.

Mohanji in Canada 3

Baba and Baba, unity in diversity

Mohanji in Canada

On Hindu Heritage Day, the embodiment of Sanatana Dharma, or The Eternal Religion, celebrating the Tradition.

Poetic Expressions of Devotion and Gratitude

by Sanjay:

It is not possible for me to say anything about Sakshat Sai Bramha. . I am blessed by the presence
HIS Lotus Feet in my home. It was morning on Ganesh Chaturthi when Sakshat Sai Ganesh
entered my home. It was one of the most Blessed days of my life as I am blessed with a lot of Bhakti.

Sai Mohanji is beyond the Shabda Bramha. Here is a small attempt to express my feelings in Hindi.

Aap Ke PunitPawan Charan Hamare Ghar Jo Aaye, Shabri Banne Ka Bhagya Hum Paye !
(Dear Sadhguru, as Your sacred lotus feet came to my abode, I feel like Shabri who was blessed by Ram)
Aap Ke Charan Aashru Se Kya Dhoye, Kevat Banne Ka Avasar Hum Paye !
( When we washed you lotus feet with our tears of joy, you gave us chance to become Kevat )
Karke Hamre Bhojan Ka Swikar, Mano Mila Hame Vidurji Jaisa Pyar !
( By accepting food offered by us, you made us feel loved like Vidhurji )
Aap Ke Mukh Se Nikli SaiSatCharitraVani, Laga Jaise Hue Dwarikamai Se Aakashvani !
( The Sai Sat Charitravani from your mouth, it is like your heavenly sound from Dwarakamai)
Aap Ke Varad Hast Hamare Shir Par Aaye, ShukhShanti ShradhaBhakti Khub Jo Paye !
( keep your blessing hands always on our head and please bless us with Happiness, Peace and Devotion.)

Love You A Lot Mohanji.

Sanjay

At the Ram Temple, Mohanji once expressed Ram as one aspect of Himself.

At the Ram Temple, Mohanji once expressed Ram as one aspect of Himself.

Shaktipat and concept of non-duality

by Sundisha

I was fortunate enough to ride in the car with Babaji on the way the Satsang in Mississauga. That allowed me to get some time with Babaji prior to having listened to any of his discourses or teachings. When I learnt that Babaji was visiting, I was interested to meet him but was away that weekend for the Satsang, but then later learnt of a Monday session in Mississauga.
I was thankful to ride with you all, together with Babaji, throughout which we had some interesting and insightful talks about shaktipat and other things.
It was an honour for me when Babaji offered to give me shaktipat that evening, even though it was not pre-scheduled. God had a plan, I believe, and through this series of events, I was able to receive shaktipat from Babaji that evening.
At the temple in Mississauga, Babaji offered some great teaching about Hanumanji and how He is the symbol of devotion, and the key lesson that I took away was this aspect of realization that Babaji weaved into the talk: The concept of duality versus non-duality.
After the temple, when we went back to Vaughan, it was great to have some time for interaction with Babaji. I did not have many questions but the discussions were very down-to-earth and straightforward. Babaji is a simple man, with a simple message. The shaktipat was an intense experience and on this path that we are on, I am thankful to have met Babaji.

It has been my pleasure and good fortune meeting with you all.

God Bless,

Sundisha

A blessing beyond  the power of words to express.

A blessing beyond the power of words to express.

 Soothing Guidance and Peace of Mind

By Deepti Aggarwal

About 5 years back, I was involved with a Dubai based group that followed Mohanji. The group met weekly on Friday evenings and had an hour long session wherein we did meditation followed by Shaktipat. Time and time again, during the 3 year period, there were many instances where we benefited from Mohanji’s guidance and meditation.
Lately however, I was finding that my regular spiritual practice was interrupted and irregular and I was finding it harder to fall back into the rhythm that has supported my growth. My children were at a critical phase of their lives where they were about to leave home for university and there was much distraction both emotionally and mentally.
Mohanji’s arrival in Toronto brought much needed peace of mind and guidance our way. During the shaktipat, I found the calm, for a few seconds, which has eluded me recently.
That night, I felt physically energized, unable to sleep. At 3am, I wandered out into my backyard, amidst the gentle wind rustling the leaves of trees and the moon and stars sparkling clean in the aftermath of the light rain that had fallen earlier. It felt like the world had been reborn, waiting to offer its gifts.
My heart welled with gratitude for everything that life had sent my way, especially my children. Instead of feeling the pang of separation, I was feeling joy at having the opportunity to have them part of my life. I wandered back in and fell asleep. Surprisingly, I was not tired the next morning for having had less sleep than I normally need to function.
The following week, I found my meditation routine once again. As well as a deep set resolve to move back toward a routine that will continue to support my spiritual growth.
Om.

Enjoying the narural surrounds in Toronto

Enjoying the narural surrounds in Toronto

Know that I am always Alive, experience it and identify the truth

(MUJHE SADA JEEVIT HI JANO, ANUBHAV KARO SATYA PEHCHANO)

By Vinayneeti Shori
Baba’s words are true even in this kaliyug. He is with us every moment, He comes to our rescue even today… Mohan Ji is none other than Baba himself. He is Para Brahma, living God on Earth. When Baba was in His physical form, many fortunate people understood Him to be God. Similarly, we have Mohan Ji amongst us, He is one with God. He is the source, the divine source on this planet.
I got a new life because of Mohan Ji’s blessings. I am feeling short of words to express my gratitude to Him.
Two Years ago, a very evil spirit came into my body. He talked to me and told me that he would never ever leave me. He wanted to kill me and take me with him. But, my Baba would never let this happen. I was suffering from panic attacks, stress and too much anxiety. I stopped meeting people, talking to them and socializing. Whenever I tried to share my pain, my agony, with anyone, no one believed me. People used to think that I was suffering from a disease where the brain gives you signals that there is a spirit inside the body. Even my family didn’t believe me. I was totally alone….Totally alone. I used to talk to Baba: “Baba tum mat pita tum bandhu, Sakha.”  “Baba You are my friend, You are the only one who knows what I am going through. No one on this whole planet knows about me.” I had strong faith that I am in Baba’s sharan and my Baba would come and bring me out of this problem. He came, He actually came in the form of Mohan Ji. Mohan Ji is none other than Baba Himself.

On Hindu Heritage Day, the embodiment of Sanatana Dharma, or The Eternal Religion, celebrating the Tradition

On Hindu Heritage Day, the embodiment of Sanatana Dharma, or The Eternal Religion, celebrating the Tradition

On Rakhi day, Baba gave me a message that everything is going to be alright in my life. I was thinking about this message again and again: “Baba, how will you take this devil out of me?” In these two years, Baba produced so many opportunities for taking him out of me, but, being a weak soul, I failed in everything. Moreover, the thing in me didn’t let me do what I was supposed to do. Then, a week before Mohan Ji’s visit, a very close friend of mine had a vision that I was sitting near Mohan Ji and all my chains broke. She told me to meet Him when He comes to Toronto. At that time I didn’t know much about Him.
The first day I met Him, I listened to His satsang and when he gave me Shaktipat, I experienced His energy. As He placed His hand on my head, tears started rolling from my eyes, I cried like anything. Even after receiving the shaktipat, I kept crying for a while. The second day, as He placed His hand on my head, this devil came into my eyes and I felt Mohan Ji’s energy fighting him out. On the third day, as soon as He placed His hand on my head, a sudden burst of energy hit me. The evil was bursting into my eyes and face and I felt Mohan Ji’s energy battling with him. My whole body was shaking with Mohan Ji’s energy. Tears flowed continuously from my eyes. After getting shaktipat, I was not able to open my eyes. I sat there while other people were getting shaktipat. Mohan Ji is a perfect master, a master par excellence. While giving others shaktipat, He was simultaneously putting His energy into me. After about 10 minutes, He called me to Him. As I opened my eyes to go to Him, I felt Him as Sakshat Baba sitting with His feet on the white sheet. I tightly caught hold of His feet and felt I was actually holding Baba’s lotus feet. As I was holding His feet, feeling a lot of energy moving into my whole body, He asked for a paper and a pen. He wrote a mantra for me to recite afterwards and gave it to my friend. He was doing everything so coolly and was absolutely confident and sure about what He was going to do. Then, I felt a gush of energy pulling something out of me. I shouted: “Baba, Baba.” for about 5 minutes and guess what… He was gone forever. Mohan Ji told me: “You are free now, he has gone forever.” I felt that my Baba had come and freed me from the devil. I kept crying and shouting: “My Baba came, He came for me. He did come as He promised He would, for his children. He actually came, He came…” I felt Mohan Ji as Sakshat Baba sitting in front of me. Mohan Ji cleansed me, blessed me, placed His hand on my head and gave me His charnamrit with a white petal in it. I am the luckiest person on this planet on whom such a great soul , Para Brahma Himself, showered His grace abundantly. Within 5 minutes I was fine. I was saved from a ferocious devil and given a new lease of life. When Baba saw that being a weak soul, I couldn’t do anything He Himself came as Mohan Ji, placed His hand on my head and took the devil out of me.  Nobody other than God could do this.

The humility of an enlightened soul, the humility of a Master

The humility of an enlightened soul, the humility of a Master

Mohan Ji had to take a different body from Baba to come into this world, but, His consciousness is same as Baba’s. He is one with Him. He gave me assurance that He would be with me always, that He would protect me always. I am extremely happy to have Mohan Ji in my life who is so great and at the same time, so humble, that He answers all our questions. However ignorant the questions we ask Him are, He replies each question without getting annoyed. His love is unconditional. I am not even the dust of His lotus feet; still he blessed me so much. He knows everything about me. He is omnipresent. The more I know Him, the more I adore Him. I am a very simple person and want to express a lot about Mohan Ji but I am feeling unable to express myself. I am so very thankful to Baba for sending Mohan Ji into my life. I am blessed!!
Chahey lakhan hon juban yeh gun nahi ga sakdi,mere Baba tera karz ada nahi ker sekde…………
Jai Sai Ram!!

The humility of an enlightened soul, the humility of a Master

The humility of an enlightened soul, the humility of a Master

Sweet Miracle in Divine Company

By Ashutosh Doshi

Mohanji, the name itself means: ‘Lord Krishna’, the Almighty Supreme.

My meeting and acquaintance with Mohanji, or Guruji as I prefer to address him, was itself was immediate and unplanned.

 Mohanji once said that He only sees Himself wherever he looks and that He smiles when We smile

Mohanji once said that He only sees Himself wherever he looks and that He smiles when We smile

Jyoti (my sister from Delhi) informed me about Guruji, his books and all his teachings and the sudden urge to meet him arose and the next thing I knew, he was coming visit to Toronto. Met Guruji for the first time at a Satsang and was engulfed by his patience and explanations.

On my request Guruji immediately came to our abode and blessed it. I had the enormous pleasure of driving him from Temple to home.

At home Guruji was very kind to accede to my request of talking to Jyoti for 2 minutes and thereby fulfilling her long time desire.

On my personal meeting with Guruji felt an air of serenity, total calmness and an everlasting charming aura from the Great Spiritual Master. We talked on various topics ranging from Kailash to Martial Arts and at times had a strong feeling of chatting to a long time dear friend in the form of Guruji, with absolutely no barriers. So receptive and blissful!

I wanted to take Mithai (sweets or candy) for Guruji but could not do so, but the Miracle here was that I had the fantastic pleasure of having Ladoos as lunch with Guruji. On the evening of the same day, I had gone for Satsang and again had the pleasure of having Kheer as dinner with him.

Sweets with the Supreme Spiritual Master, can one ask for more?

One step at a time, one step after another, the arrival at the destination is certain.

One step at a time, one step after another, the arrival at the destination is certain.

So fortunate and so blessed. Memorable Moments spent with Guruji in his divine company, would be forever cherished and remembered. I am ever indebted.

Lastly my heartfelt prayers and koti koti pranams (a million salutations) to Shri Sadguru Sai Baba, it was only with his blessings that of all this was possible.

“Anant Koti Brahmand Nayak Raja Dhiraj Yogi Raj Par Brahm Shri Samarth Satchidananda Sadguru Sai Nath Maharaj Ki Jai.” Aum Sai Ram

(Praise be to the True Guru Sai Nath Maharaj, who is the Lord of millions of galaxies, king of kings, who is the Supreme Father and Lord of Yogis.)

Thank You.

Whether you cover a metre or a mile, the important thing is to keep walking!

Whether you cover a metre or a mile, the important thing is to keep walking!

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The Kailash Within

Written by Palak Mehta

Kailas parikrama with Mohanji was a secret wish, a yearning that Mohanji fulfilled. My only intention was to go and melt with Kailas, it’s a vortex which keeps calling you, pulling you like a magnet.  From books and others’ experiences it seemed like a physical place which is all powerful, peaceful and transforming. But Kailas was much more than just that, it was much more than I had anticipated.

At your divine lotus feet eternally.. beyond the body.. beyond life on Earth........:)

At your divine lotus feet eternally.. beyond the body.. beyond life on Earth……..:) In Katmandu | Pic courtesy: Sumit

The closer we were to Kailas, the more I realized that this was a place not of this Earth. It’s the land of Gods. Dev Bhoomi. This realization was crystal clear for even an average person like me. As we approached Mansarovar, the air felt magical, the rocks on the mountains spoke, the formations in the clouds were the assuring and comforting greetings of my creator. I was falling in love. I saw Hanuman Ji in the clouds, it wasn’t just a glimpse, it was a darshan which was so reassuring and loving that I started to melt.

The first sight of Mansarovar was a cerulean blue shimmering against the warm sun and some moments later the sight of Kailas welcomed us. Shiva’s face with the hair tied up in His usual form appeared in the clouds to the left of Kailas. It was indeed a sight to behold. I was jumping like a 2 year old, exclaiming to everyone around not to miss it, but everyone seemed to be completely soaked in their own experience of Kailas. The most beautiful part is that this is the darshan I secretly wished for, to see Shiva in this form. I had not dared affirm it to my conscious mind because I wanted to be completely blank, without any expectations whatsoever , yet He gifted that to me. So unconditionally, so lovingly. We also saw a black dog at the same time. Dogs are symbolical of the tradition and kept appearing at various places throughout the journey. From just before Bharti Aunty dropped me at the airport, till the last day of the parikrama. This was only the start.

Shivas face on the left of Kailash with Black Dog

Shivas face on the left of Kailash

During the dip in Mansarovar Lake, Mohanji’s Gayatri Mantra and ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ were my legs. Having Him enter the lake first was reassuring and one could simply follow. The first dip, burnt away something in my system. My whole body, my spine was exuberating the powerful energy of the icy cold water. I cried like a baby. Ceaselessly. Profusely. Uncontrollably. The intensity and energy of the lake was so overwhelming that it wasn’t possible for me to contain so much grace and blessings. Dip after dip I kept crying, even howling. It was unburdening. It’s funny when I think of it, especially when Phaneendar joked that the huge ripples in the lake were because of my tears. Ha ha, but when I think of it, I had no other choice really. It was completely out of my conscious control.

While we performed Mohanji’s Abhishek in the water, I noticed the tejus in His eyes. It was Shiva! Unmistakably Shiva. Kailash was right in front of me and it was Mohanji. Before starting the Kailas Parikrama I asked Mohanji if I could do His parikrama first. Doing His parikrama first, only felt right and was a huge blessing for me. He is my Kailas and the reason why I got to know about Kailas or could ever go there.

Mohan is Kailasa, Mohan is Shiv

Mohan is Kailasa, Mohan is Shiv;

This was beautifully affirmed by Shiva Himself. After Mohanji performed Abhishek to Kailas before the dip, a mighty ‘M’ appeared on Kailash. The clouds hid every part of Kailash apart from that mighty ‘M’. :D It was Shiva acknowledging Mohanji’s presence :)

Tears dwelled Mohanji’s eyes when He looked at Kailash..

Tears dwelled Mohanji’s eyes when He looked at Kailash..

The grace of the dip and Mohanji fulfilling each wish was baffling. All I could do was just look at Mohanji with a big ‘thank you’ written on my face. . Luckily Sabu clicked at this exact moment!  his priceless picture is attached below.
Thank You for fulfilling my deepest desires always, for giving more than what one could ever ask for, for coming to Earth for us and finding me here and literally rescuing me from my own mind, for always being there unconditionally, for making me whatever I am today and giving me whatever strength I have to face life in its full glory.

The face of Love Pic courtesy: Sabu

The face of Love
Pic courtesy: Sabu

We spent the night at Mansarovar. During Brahma Murta, visibly excited to ‘see’ the celestial beings I got up several times with room mates and went outside towards the lake. To my dismay, I couldn’t see anything and whatever little light I saw in the lake was not tangible enough for my eyes to sense the celestial beings. Everyone around seemed to see them so easily and were satisfied with the darshan they got. After sometime everyone went to bed and so did I. But my mind was still there, like an excited child wanting to see the magic happenings outside in the dearth of night I kept turning restlessly with no sleep. Finally after sometime with strong chilly winds blowing I felt the energy within me to venture out again. This was Mohanji’s energy otherwise I would’ve surely missed this chance and slept. This time there was no one around. The vastness and magnitude of the black sky jewelled with stars and smudged by moonlight, powerful cloud formations, enormity of the mountains, the reflected Mansaorovar in the moonlight. It was all so powerful that to even imagine that kind of power is a little frightening. ‘Shiva is truly Bhole Baba’, I thought. Extremely loving and easy to please, yet enormously powerful who can shake the whole existence in a single blow.
This ‘mighty’ Shiva graced me with the sight of a big glowing celestial being hovering over the lake. All my doubts of seeing faint lights earlier had vanished. This could not be anything else. There was no other light source coming from anywhere. It was a blinding white light expanding against the black shadows of the lake. I even saw a beautiful reddish pink one with that. With the chilly winds cutting through my face I heard heartfelt chants coming from my far left in the mountains. It was a man’s voice, melodious and sincere. A heavenly experience, most likely praying to Shiva.

The Parikrama: Divine Planning

Mohanji mentioned that the Kailash Parikrama depends on the individual’s karma and only if one has complete surrender does grace benefit them.

Everything about the parikrama seemed magical. So many people from all over the world, Shiv Bhakts, Buddhists and others, coming from various backgrounds with an inherent serenity in all. My gut told me to take a pony and use it when I’d need it as I really wanted to finish the whole parikrama, in any condition. The porters and ponies were no other than Shiv Gana (Shiva’s attendants). My porter and Pony were certainly chosen by Mohanji and that’s the intention I had given. She was a sweet Tibetan girl who scolded me when I got lazy or too tired to walk but was so gentle and pampered me completely when she saw me silently overexerting my body.
She was sent by Mohanji and Shiva and I’m eternally grateful to her. She gave me a lot of strength when I felt my body wear out.

My Sherpa was Shiva Gana (Shiva’s attendants) for sure!

My Sherpa was Shiva Gana (Shiva’s attendants) for sure!

The parikrama on the first day finished reasonably smoothly but it was followed by extreme cold, storming headache, rain, some wet clothes and the Mighty north face of Kailash right in front of us. I felt totally ungrounded in that energy field, the crown chakra of mother earth- Kailash. We could see Kailash in front of us from our Balconies. It was an extremely cold and wet night and my only saviour was Mohanji. I was floating! Everyone’s voices were coming from a hollow pipe and I was just praying to make it through the night and not fall sick. Despite this, we all were rejoicing and it felt like big a party with Mohanji.

I was really touched by the bhakti and surrender of some people. Dhrittiman, Sumit and so many who walked the whole way in spite of the hardships. Each one had amazing experiences and Dhrittiman was the only person who was able to go and actually touch the Mountain- Kailash. That night Dhrittiman’s shoes were wet, Sumit had a very high temperature, Namrata was taking oxygen periodically, Rajesh Kamath didn’t have enough warm clothes and had a storming headache. Dr, Deepali, Dr. Spomenka, and others kept nursing everyone in spite of their own physical challenges. All my socks were wet and when I asked DB ( Dhrittiman) how he planned to dry his only pair of shoes in such weather conditions and no heaters, he just smiled, looked at Mohanji and said, ‘That’s not for me to take care of!’  With faith and devotion like that who can but not expect miracles to happen! DB’s shoes were dry the next day and so were mine! Namrata felt much better and stronger and another seemingly coincidence was that Vijji had an extra pullover for Rajesh. I kept seeing Mohanji take everything on himself and burn it. Silently in His usual unassuming style. His back literally became like stone sometimes. He went through knee pains, head aches. My personal experience was that my head ache, fatigue came back once the Parikrama was over, but during those three days, I know it was only His grace taking care of me.

The next morning I was woken up abruptly by my porter. Without getting enough time to pack properly or to take the altitude sickness homeopathic medicine ( a complete blessing so sweetly arranged by our team) or eat breakfast, I had to rush with my porter to the pony. It was a tough start for the most challenging day. Yet when I reached the Dolma Pass, the highest (at an altitude of 5850 mts / 19193 feet), toughest part of the parikrama, with very little oxygen; I met Mohanji on the way and was totally energized. Sumit’s deepest desire to go to Gauri Kund and do pooja was fulfilled by Mohanji who actually waited for Sumit at Dolma Pass for about half an hour. When Sumit, Biba di, Swami Govinda, Rajeshji (from UK), Panditji and Hein went to Gauri Kund, I stayed with Mohanji, completely soaking in divine bliss.

At Dolma Pass with the grace that held me throughout

Infinite Grace- With Mohanji at Dolma Pass (highest altitude 5850 mts)

The sight of the precious Gauri Kund, being with my divine Father on the toughest point, and seeing the rustic, broken mountains around, which shuddered during Shiva’s tandav was complete grace. I was jumping up and down the mountain like a monkey! I knew Mohanji was breathing for me, keeping my physical body fit and my headache in control.

Mohanji on Kailash

Mohanji at Gauri Khund                                                              Harsh weather in Kailash that tests all your limits..

The toughest part felt like a breeze and was soon over. But during the descent my body completely wore out and I just couldn’t keep up with Mohanji and everyone. Mohanji walked as if He was gliding.  I just collapsed. Random people on the way helped me. A young Chinese lady gave me some bitter herbal medicine to keep the heart strong, another woman walking past held my arm during the decent and helped me from not falling. My body was so exhausted that every step seemed like a humungous challenge. I just had to reach the lunch point because there was no shelter anywhere else. Kailash has its own tests (one after the other!). Sudden Hailstorms accompanied by harsh winds, low oxygen, extremely warm sun and unpredictability.

Rajeshji (from the UK, who commendably walked the whole way because of his firm faith) was a complete blessing to say the least. He would stop with me from time to time, encourage me to move on. After some time I was flat on the ground again. Complete energy drain. I couldn’t move a toe. Rajeshji gave me a sip of Gauri Kund water, and wow! I was brought back to the present moment, energized and refreshed. It was super powerful.. hard to imagine the purity of such water. Taashi, from our tour organizers really helped me reach the lunch spot. That was my only respite. He held me and took me there. On seeing Mohanji there I just broke down. I cried unstoppably. My body was exhausted beyond measure and I felt breathless, a vacuum inside and things leaving me. Sumit and Hein were of great comfort. Mohanji asked Hein to help me and really I can’t thank him enough for being there at that time.

With the bro- Hein, in front of Kailash and 'Om' symbol on it

With the bro- Hein, in front of Kailash and ‘Om’ symbol on it

We somehow found my pony and the journey after that seemed never ending! The majestic beauty of Kailash gave a lot of strength. It was then that I realised that something very heavy had left my system. My body was completely burnt out but I felt lighter, like I’ve been gifted with something new inside me. I felt very grateful because I was protected and though it sounds a little dramatic, I returned back alive from all that.

The third day felt like a smooth morning walk. My wish to soak in Kailash slowly, at my own pace, alone, in silence, was fulfilled. I could make videos, exchange smiles with familiar strangers, express gratitude and just BE there. Amazing how the minutest of wishes were fulfilled each time by my Divine Father.

group pic after finishing the parikrama

The Birthday Gift

My birthday fell on the 10th of August and we completed the Parikrama on the 9th. The successful completion of the parikrama during my first trip ever to Kailash and that too with my Guru was the best birthday gift I could possibly receive in this lifetime. I was completely overwhelmed with the amount of grace and love showered on me. Before leaving India, I had been looking for the perfect Shivling to get it dipped in Mansarovar and blessed by Mohanji. Sadly I couldn’t find it. At Nyalam I saw some but wasn’t feeling the pull from them and Mohanji said I could look for it ahead. We never got time after that and parikrama started.

Mercury Shivling blessed by Mansarovar Lake- The Birthday Gift

Mercury Shivling blessed by Mansarovar Lake- The Blessed Birthday Gift

On our journey back after the parikrama, the thought of not being able to get the Shivling occured to my mind. I completely warded it off so that no amount of expectation or disappointment might enter my system after these immense blessings.
On the 9th Evening, Preeti Duggal, no less than a human angel for me, hugged me and gifted me a mercury Shivling which was dipped and blessed by Mohanji in Mansarovar Lake and whispered into my ear that this gift was from Mohanji.
Tears of Gratitude and Joy rolling down my cheeks yet again! I shared this with Mohanji who had an ear to ear, adorable grin on His face. Divine Father listens to every prayer, fulfils every wish, nothing can explain the Love of a Guru. It’s truly infinite.

Soul Family

Endeavouring on the ultimate pilgrimage together with your soul family is no coincidence. We shared the tough times, rejoiced in the good ones, embraced the loving ones. There was definitely a reason why a group of certain people were bought together, mirroring and helping out each other. I found out so many past life connections (Thanks to amazing and soulful Za Gi)!
The Pilgrims were from various backgrounds yet everyone felt ‘Home’ with each other. It was amazing to share similar experiences of Mohanji’s consciousness happening to people all over the globe who’d never met each other. It was truly an honour to meet these amazing people ! Thank You All of You and for the love we share..You rest in my heart.

Mohanji's Kailashis 2014

This collage could contain close ups of only some of us, the group pic has everyone in it :)

Life After Kailas

Mohanji says big shifts have happened in people, now it’s up to us to maintain the sacred inner space.
In just few post Kailas days I started to feel the changes. I could feel the External world mirroring the internal one more tangibly. There is more clarity with respect to the reason for tough situations, accompanied by peace of mind, fearlessness, increase in efficiency and conviction. I also witnessed strong hits of negativity in my mind right after the trip was over. Somehow I had expected this. These were my personal tests. I felt stormed with strong ego based emotions that I never knew existed in me within 2 days of returning back. Felt like a cleansing but also hits of intense ego. At that moment DB (Dhrittiman) said something very powerful.
‘Just fill your inner space with chants or thoughts about sewa (service) work. It is very easy to fall prey to negative thoughts when the inside has been wiped clean. ~ Om Namah Shiva ‘. This was a complete opportunity in disguise! It lead to some positive life changes that I had been trying to make for years now and an even stronger prayer to keep the Kailas within me alive always.
What ‘Kailas with Mohanji’ has given us, we might realise years later if we are subtle enough. I’m eternally grateful to Mohanji who turns all my dreams into reality always. For now my prayer is that the Kailas within only dwells in deeper with time… the Mohanji Consciousness within only dwells deeper in my heart with time. Om Namah Shivaya !

Held in the arms of God

Held in the arms of God,pic courtesy: Laavanya Singh

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The Mirror Called Kailash – Part 2

Written by: Biba Mohan

The next morning was like a horror movie. We woke up around 5am to the prison-like sounds of loud whistling and rough male voices shouting ‘Get up, get up!’. For a moment I thought I had regressed into some nightmarish WW2 holocaust scenario. It was cold and wet outside, mud, noise, crowd and chaos everywhere. With trembling hands and wobbly legs, gasping for breath, I somehow forced myself to go down the stairs and answer the call of nature (wherever I could find the right spot for it), and then brush my teeth using the last remnants of warm water that our sherpas (Nepalase caretakers who were assisting us most lovingly throughout the yatra) provided us with.

Our amazing sherpas

With our amazing sherpas – photo taken at the end of the yatra

It was then that I heard the beautiful sound of arati to Shiva – I looked up towards the balcony and saw Mohanji, Panditji and several yatris looking at Kailash and doing the arati with incense sticks. At that moment, I looked at the glorious Kailash before me, while my ego was drowning in the pool of helplessness, taking all the doership and trash with it. I started crying profusely, praying to Kailash/Shiva/Mohanji from the bottom of my heart to take me out of this misery, to allow me to break the walls of illusion, to melt in surrender. I cried and cried, allowing myself to go through the experience. I noticed that all the sherpas around me were pretty much staring at me, but couldn’t care less (now that I think about it, that must have been quite a pathetic site – a white girl with a toothbrush in her hand, smudged make-up and cap with ears and face of a goat, crying like a baby and staring at Kailash! :-)) There was no shame. How could one not stand naked before Shiva – there is no other way. We emerged from that consciousness naked and we can dissolve back into it only if naked, only after dropping all our masks. As Mohanji said, “Kailash is Shiva, the state that you are coming from, but forgot as you lived. Be Shiva and you will merge with Kailash spontaneously. Shiva and Kailash are ONE.” This was the moment when I truly felt the surrender… – the subtle inner wall was broken.

Up the Dolma Pass

Up the Dolma Pass

By the time I composed myself, gulped some breakfast, chose the right clothes and packed my back pack, most of the other yatris had already started the trek. I hurried in order to catch up with them and tried walking, but after 10 meters or so understood it wouldn’t be happening. I sat on the pony and kept quiet – whether I did the yatra by foot or on pony, it didn’t really matter. What was far more important was that even though weak physically, I now started to feel connected spiritually – mantras and prayers deep from the heart kept flowing. I spent the entire ride on the pony towards and up the steep Dolma Pass in a meditative state. At one point I totally lost the concept of time and can’t even recollect certain parts of the journey. I just remember that I felt immense love and gratitude towards the pony that carried my weight up the Dolma La and kept caressing him. At one point, the image of surreal emerald-like Gauri Kund, the lake that, as the legend says, Lord Shiva created for Goddess Parvati to bathe in, appeared in my inner vision. Immense desire to go to Gauri Kund suddenly filled my heart. I knew that, no matter what, I just had to go there! The pull was very strong.

Touched by Divine – the purity of Gauri Kund

Once we reached the top of the hill, I got off the pony and soon came across Mohanji. My joy knew no bounds upon seeing the familiar glossy eyes full of love, the eyes that my soul had connected with through lifetimes. Deep gratitude overwhelmed me. I knew he was watching on me, on all of us, and that the inner transformation was all due to his Grace. When I told him that I would like to go to Gauri Kund, his smile and gentle nod was all the confirmation I needed. I walked a bit further until my eyes could finally behold the majestic Gauri Kund, also known as the Lake of Compassion, in its full glory – it was even more beautiful than what I had seen on the photos!

Pristine Mansarover, high res

I then noticed the big sharp stones and steep decline that led to the lake. Mohanji explained just how ‘strategically’ Gauri Kund was located – right after the extremely tough to climb Dolma Pass, when most could not even think of another climb. He also said that most of the time Gauri Kund is covered with clouds to hide it from the undeserving seekers and that the stones around the lake are often wet and slippery to further deter unwanted visitors. Indeed, had there been even a drizzle, wet and slippery stones would have been too big of an obstacle. But that day the sun was shining and I felt the path to Gauri Kund was open. In my heart, I felt I was invited… I decided to wait for Sumit for I knew that he said earlier he would like to go to Gauri Kund. I walked for only a couple of meters and already felt breathless. For a moment a hint of fear came that I wouldn’t be able to do it, but it wasn’t even nearly as strong as my desire to go. At that moment I made up my mind that I would go to Gauri Kund even if I died there – and I meant it!

Sumit and Hein arrived soon, bowed to Mohanji and off we went down the steep path across the many stones towards sublime Gauri Kund. Rajesh from UK joined us as well, along with one of the sherpas. Great excitement overwhelmed me and my legs surprised me with their sudden speed and strength – it was as if they walked on their own.

When we reached the lake, I was surprised to see Panditji already seated there silently and comfortably, with all the pooja paraphernalia, Mohanji’s eye card, trishul and Shiva linga, all lovingly laid out in front of the majestic Gauri Kund. That site brought great joy to my heart.

Panditji at Mansarover

The moment when I touched and tasted the water of Gauri Kund will remain forever etched in my mind and heart. It was like a long awaited flower that finally bloomed from my energy blueprint. I have never felt such a sensation – this water carried the secret codes far beyond this plane of existence. Its purity was indescribable, its sparkle divine, its taste sublime – the purest mountain spring would bow to it in awe. While washing my face with this water and placing some of it on my crown chakra and third eye, I felt nothing but pure bliss as I witnessed the thirst for intense purification, thirst that was beyond this lifetime, now being quenched…

Biba at Mansarover, prayer

I looked up and on the mountain that was facing Gauri Kund I suddenly saw many faces of sages, mainly with long beards and expressions of profound depth. More than seeing, it was the inner sensation of utmost sanctity and purity that overwhelmed me. This lake and this moment in time did not feel like anything on planet Earth…

More than the beauty of nature, it was the vibration of purity of Goddess Parvati that created a deep ‘click’ within me – this is the aspect of Divine that resonates most deeply with my being. She performed unimaginable penance in order to reach Lord Shiva – hunger, heat, cold, nothing could deter her. Out of her pure heart and deep compassion she pleaded him to share his wisdom with humanity. She was humanity’s bridge to Lord Shiva, whose energy and presence was too powerful to be accessed by humanity. As our sweet Rima Yadav said during one of our conversations, “Even in our family life, when children cannot approach a strict and authoritative father, they always go through the mother.”

shiva-parvati

Shiva and Parvati – image sourced from the net

I recalled the scene from Guru Gita that I enjoyed listening on You Tube many a times till now, the grand historical moment of eternal beauty embedded in the collective subconscious of humanity, the moment when Goddess Parvati bowed to mighty Shiva and addressed him with the following words:

 “Om. Salutations O God, Lord of the Lords, Higher than the Highest, Teacher of the Universe,

O Benevolent one, O Great God, initiate me into the knowledge of the Guru.

O Lord! By which path can an embodied being become one with Brahman, the Absolute Reality?

Have compassion on me, O Lord! I bow to your feet.”

And then Shiva answered, with words brimming with immense depth and Love:

O Goddess, you are My very Self.

I speak out of My love for you.

This question, which is a boon to uplift the world,

Has not been asked before by anyone.

This knowledge is difficult to obtain in all the three worlds.

Listen, I will reveal it to you.

The Absolute is not different from the Guru.

This is the Truth, this is the Truth, O Beautiful One.

The ancient scriptures, religious books, texts of ancient legends, historical accounts,

and other writings; […]

Without knowing the Guru principle, people who engage in these are fools.

The Guru is not different from the conscious Self.

This is true, this is true, there is no doubt.

Therefore, a wise one should indeed make an effort to attain the Guru. […]

He by whose light the true knowledge arises is known as ‘Guru’.

The Guru who reveals THAT […] who illuminates like the flame of the lamp,

The Guru whose feet are the visible form of the imperishable – one should meditate

on that all-pervasive, eternal Guru.”

(To listen to the ancient Guru Gita (with English subtitles), chanted with utmost devotion in the most beautiful voice of Kumuda,   please visit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqcF2dsY1mM  )

While all of this was happening in my inner space, Mohanji stood at the top overlooking all of us who had descended down to the Gauri Kund.

Mohanji in the forest

The consciousness that leads us on the path – against all the odds…

I felt his presence and my heart melted as my mind acknowledged the miracle of everything that is happening in my life, of all the unimaginable blessings… Indeed, the blessing of a physical presence of a Guru in the life of one who yearns for Liberation is truly the greatest blessing one can be granted in a lifetime.

In the midst of my bliss and a beautiful Lingam pooja conducted by Panditji, Sumit approached me with the most loving request – with endless devotion, he held the Prasad from Vaishno Devi temple in his hands and asked me to offer it to Goddess Parvati. He really touched my heart – what a beautiful gesture and what an honor to make that offering from one aspect of Mother Divine to another. All of us present prayed together. I prayed for the purity and selflessness of Mother Divine to become so deeply established in our hearts that nothing can ever taint it… The truth of the grand words “The Power of Purity” resonated in my being. We discussed later how it is indeed no coincidence that the first meditation that Mohanji received from the higher consciousness was not called The Power of Faith/Love/Surrender etc., but exactly the Power of Purity. When purity is enthroned in our heart, in our being, that is all that is required. We just need to maintain it and not allow any trash to enter inside. Divine will do the rest…Gauri Kund climb

The climb and the moment of transformation

When it was time to part from the Gauri Kund and the climb up the big stones started, I realized just how big of a challenge this was. Descending was fairly easy, but the climb was far from easy. After every couple of steps, I would have to stop and gasp for air in desperation. My breathing was long and loud, resembling that of a lung cancer patient on a deathbed. It was extremely tough to do this, but I did not mind – it was worth it. With the loving help of Hein and the sherpa, I just went through the experience – totally empty, so filled with gratitude. This was, in a way, my penance in honor of the Mother and I was happy to do it. At one moment, I could feel a sort of a drizzle. It was not rain, but hail – very small pieces of ice suddenly started falling from the sky. I remembered Mohanji who always says how auspicious it is to experience rain after doing any pooja or offering to Divine. This beautiful hail meant that Goddess Parvati accepted our offering! My heart expanded instantly. After the next pause to catch the breath, I started climbing and suddenly realized that something had changed – as if touched by a magic wand, the hypoxia was removed from my system! I couldn’t believe it – I could climb without any problem! What a miracle, what a blessing!

Sheer excitement overwhelmed me – I climbed the rest of the way with a big big smile, and then blissfully continued the rest of the yatra by foot. (It was interesting to note from Monja’s experience sharing that the same hail had the opposite effect on her and was the moment when she felt that the challenge of climbing the Dolma Pass was too much to bear – indeed, all of us had walked the same path but had totally unique experiences, as per the divine drama created by Shiva for the purpose of our cleansing and elevation).

Hug pic

At that moment I suddenly remembered a scene from our visit to Buddhanilkantha Temple in Nepal, with the most fascinating 5m long statue of Lord Vishnu: as we admired its beauty and observed how the expressions on the face of lying Vishnu would change depending from the angle from which one would approach/observe it, there was one more observation that really left us in awe. The statue was being reflected in the water almost 180 degrees below itself!

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We tried applying our reasoning while observing this sheer miracle, but logical mind had no explanation how the face of Lord Vishnu could be reflected in the water below itself. It was only after Gauri Kund that I understood the subtle ‘Divine mirror’ message of this experience, a beautiful intro to the ‘mirror called Kailash’ experience that would follow. A physical mirror can only reflect back to us our perishable physical image – no mirror can be compared to the mirror of Divine…

After Gauri Kund, I continued the yatra with great joy and lightness.

A

I totally confused the man who owned the pony assigned to me. He approached me several times to ask whether I needed a pony, and I would always bow with a big smile and say ‘No thank you’. Even if he spoke English, how could I possibly tell him: “I have been kissed by Divine. No further assistance needed.” Can one ever find the right words for such experiences? Can anything come close to the experience of direct Divine intervention in one’s life? These magical moments of immense blessing go straight into the soul’s eternal treasure vault. They are reminders of the most revered inner Truth: “I am always loved for Love is what I truly Am.”

With eternal Love and Gratitude,

Biba

Biba and Tibetan girl

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Kailash – The Power of His Grace

 By Vijay Ramanaidoo

Vijay Ramanaidoo

When I first heard about the trip to Kailash with Mohanji, I had no intention of going as this year was to be a significant birthday milestone for my wife, it was also our 20th wedding anniversary and my daughter would be turning 18 around the same period. I thought that it would not be fair for me to go to Kailash alone when the whole family could have a holiday together. However, my wife thought differently. She strongly encouraged me to make the journey as she understood the spiritual significance of this pilgrimage, that it was an opportunity of a lifetime (that may not come again) and that the pilgrimage would benefit generations of our family.

 

Kailash

In the end, nine of us travelled from the UK, including Swami Govinda who has been living at the Skanda Vale ashram in Wales for the past 20 years. The circumstances of how he came to travel with us was very unusual. In late May 2014 I went to the ashram to participate in a sponsored walk to raise money for their hospice. I went to the ashram a day before the walk and met one of the ashram residents. When I told him that I was going to Kailash he mentioned to me that Swami Govinda had always wanted to go to Kailash. We joked that Swami would have to travel in astral form from one of the temples as it was unlikely that he would ever get the chance in this lifetime! As I walked up the hill to go to the temple of the divine Mother Kali, I met Swami Govinda. When I told him that I was going to Kailash he mentioned that he too would like to go one day. Again I thought to myself how could he go – he is a Swami who has been living in Skanda Vale for the last 20 years. Later, as I sat in the temple in front of the divine mother Kali’s form, the thought came to me that perhaps Swami could come with us and we could help with the arrangements. However the closing date was in February 2014 and it was now May 2014! The next day, after the sponsored walk, we made enquiries with Sumit in India to check if there was any space available for Swami. Sumit responded by saying that there is one place left! After getting permission from Swami Brahmananda (head of the ashram) arrangements were made for Swami to travel with us. Swami Govinda later informed me that before hearing of the offer to travel with us, on the morning of the sponsored walk, he actually had a dream that he was travelling to Kailash with a group of people! He also informed me that his Guru (Guru Subramanium, the founder of Skanda Vale) had often spoken of his desire to travel to mount Kailash but did not get to do so before his passing. However he mentioned to Swami Govinda that should he ever get the chance to go to Kailash he should go! It was an incredible blessing for Swami Govinda to travel with us and his presence enriched the whole group.

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Leading up to the pilgrimage, I had many work pressures and was also co-ordinating some building work at home. Therefore I could not prepare adequately either spiritually or physically for the trip. However, having read the book ‘Kailash with Mohanji’ I realised that the main requirement was grace and this was my only hope of successfully completing this pilgrimage.
A few days before the trip I had a dream that I was travelling with a group of people on a journey when a strange looking man came up to me. His features were half man and half monkey. He spent some time talking to me, however I have no recollection of what he said. As he was leaving, I felt that I should give him something. I looked in my pocket and found a slightly squashed laddu. As it was the only thing I had on me I offered this to him. He took it and left silently. This dream gave me hope that the grace and blessings of Lord Hanuman was with me and our group.
Grace was evident in smoothly overcoming the many difficulties we faced such as obtaining permits to get into China (while other groups stayed behind, still waiting for the permits) and getting helicopter transport for 100 people (including Sherpas) to fly over the massive landslide which destroyed the road to Tibet.
On our first day in Mansarovar, many of us were feeling ill due to altitude sickness, not helped by reduced acclimatization time due to the delays in obtaining the permit and delays caused by the landslide. I was not sure I would be able to take a dip in the cold waters of Mansarovar because I was not feeling well. However, as Mohanji stepped into the water I decided to follow. We performed Abhishek on Mohanji with Mansarovar water and when I took my first dip in this divine lake I touched Mohanji’s feet under water and felt his hand on my back. What a blessing! The first dip in Mansarovar sanctified by the opportunity to touch the Guru’s feet! This gave me the energy and the strength to take 27 dips in total. The dips were done for self, family, friends, colleagues, Gurus, Sai family, the world, the Universe, the whole of creation and everything that is and everything that is not!

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That night we had the amazing opportunity to witness celestial beings paying homage to Shiva by taking a dip in Mansarovar. They appeared in light form like multi-coloured stars hovering over the lake, moving this way and that, dipping and disappearing. This was an astonishing experience.
The next day we participated in the divine Homa beside Mansarovar and we had the beautiful opportunity to chant the Rudram (special prayers to Shiva) and had another chance for a dip in Mansarovar.
The day before the parikrama I was still not feeling well with dizziness, vomiting, headache and nausea despite the best efforts of Deepali and Andre. When we were asked whether we wanted to take a porter, pony or both, I was persuaded to hire both as I could hardly walk 60 metres let alone 60 kilometres.
On the day of the Parikrama we were allocated our ponies and porter and I thought that I should get Mohanji’s blessings before starting. I touched Mohanji’s feet and he said ‘you will do well’. With this blessing I decided to walk with Mohanji for a while. I started walking and followed in the footsteps of the guru. As I walked, the pony and porter went ahead without me. Therefore I carried on walking with Mohanji while he pointed out the faces of Kailash, the caves and other points of interest. About 6 hours later I found that with His grace I had walked the whole of the first day!

Mohanji on Kailash parikrama 2014
That evening I again was not feeling well and wondered how I could make it the next day. In the morning Mohanji called me to the balcony and we did Arathi to the West face of Kailash. I again touched his feet for blessings before starting my walk. I sent the porter and pony ahead and decided to walk again. I walked on and on and on. Slowly but surely upwards, inching towards the top of the Dolma La pass (5700 metres high).

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Signpost at Dolma La Pass

With every few steps I had to stop and catch my breath. The air is so thin that it’s not possible to get sufficient oxygen without resting every few steps. I realised that I was short of food and water as the porter and pony had gone ahead with my rucksack. Like an angel Namrata suddenly appeared on her pony. She saw me resting on a rock and insisted I take some of her water, some sweets and a huge bag of dates. I did not want to deprive her of her water and food so initially refused but she was insistent showing me the other goods she had on her! This helped me a lot. After an exhausting climb I reached the highest point and saw Mohanji. I immediately touched his feet and gave thanks. When Sumit and Hein arrived, Mohanji asked the three of us with Biba to go down to Gauri Khund for a puja conducted by Panditji. He asked me to be very careful as the path down and back up was difficult. On the way down I fell twice but eventually made it down. The five of us performed the puja and made our offerrings. Mohanji had asked me to offer something from the UK. As I sat, I realised I had brought nothing to offer. All the offerings for the puja had been provided by Sumit. I looked through my pockets and there was nothing. I then realised that I was wearing an emerald on a chain. The colour of the emerald mirrored the colour of the water. It seemed to be an appropriate offering. An emerald to adorn the home of divine Mother Durga! I took the emerald from the chain, made a sincere prayer and offered it into the depths of the Gauri Khund. I prayed for permission to take a rock from the Gauri khund with me and I took some Gauri Khund water to offer to those back in the UK. While making my way up I fell again, knocked a small boulder that slowly rolled down, knocking Panditji’s Lingam into the Gauri Khund! I watched horrified but saw panditji swiftly dip his arm into the water to retrieve the lingam! It appeared as if the lingam wanted to be immersed in the Gauri Khund water.

Lingam Puja at Gauri Khund

Lingam Puja at Gauri Khund

After climbing back up from the Gauri Khund I walked across the glacier, down the mountain and on and on for what seemed an eternity. The pony remained unused. About 13 hours after starting the second day I made it to the guest house where Mohanji was waiting. I again touched his feet with immense love and gratitude.
The third day was a relatively short walk of about two hours. The pony and porter were sent away again and I continued to walk. I felt enormous energy, I could feel the energy around me, swirling around my face and body. I overtook people on ponies and marched on until the end point of the parikrama. I fell at the feet of Mohanji and offered my love and gratitude. It was only by his compassion and grace that I managed to complete this. We took lots of pictures, everyone was in a celebratory mood, we had completed the parikrama – this year was special. One parikrama is equivalent to 12. I was elated at the achievement and could not believe that I had managed to walk the whole journey.

The unused horse!

The unused horse!

As we went onto the coach, nausea, headache and extreme fatigue overtook me and I literally collapsed into a seat on the coach. It was as if I was given the divine energy and grace to complete the parikrama and now it was over the energy and grace was taken away leaving me feeling the same way that I had been feeling before the parikrama!
On the coach journey back, despite the exhaustion I reflected on this incredible journey. I looked up at the sky in front of me and saw a perfect and beautiful image of Shiva’s face in a cloud formation! The eyes were almond shaped and perfect. There was the nose, the mouth, the ears and the head, all perfectly formed. The pilgrimage was completed with the most wonderful darshan of Lord Shiva. All by the power of His grace!

Only with His grace!

Only with His grace!

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The Mirror Called Kailash – Part 1

Written by Biba Mohan

There is no greater teacher than one’s own experience. Especially when it comes to spiritual progress, theoretical knowledge is useful in satisfying the intellect, but lasting transformation cannot happen without one’s direct experience.

Pic 1

Experience of Kailash yatra can never be fully explained in words, but this humble attempt will hopefully be used as an inspiration for those who read about it to strive to reach “the crown chakra of Mother Earth” and achieve their own experience of the mighty Kailash one day.

M and B at Mansarover - fb

The greatest blessing of our colorful group of 84 was that we could experience Kailash in the physical presence of Mohanji. When dealing with matters that are beyond the mind, only those who have mastered the mind can provide precious guidance in the right moment, the moment when transformation either happens or doesn’t.

Pic 2 - M and Kailash
Mohanji has prepared us mentally that journey to Kailash will be tough and a true test of our faith and surrender. He said that during Kailash yatra “Grace is more essential than oxygen.” However, mind could not quite grasp the true meaning of those words until the great teacher Experience appeared.
The experience of the first day of Yatra taught me the following: the energy of Kailash, just like the consciousness of a Master, is like a mirror – when approached with ego, expectations, concepts and doubts, it will reflect back to us just how small and fragile we are. But when we truly surrender, empty ourselves and with utmost humility allow ourselves to simply experience/feel Kailash beyond any of our existing concepts, it is then that we can behold Kailash in its grandeur and allow its energy to work on us deeply. As Mohanji said “Nobody leaves Kailash empty handed.” But the depth of the experience depends on our receptivity and eligibility…
Another crucial question is – am I ready to face the mirror?

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Before proceeding with my own “mirror facing experience” during the 3 days of trekking, I can’t but mention the most sublime, most unexpected blessings received at the lake Mansarover, the grand cleanser of negativities beyond this lifetime, the lake in which celestial beings bathe every day.

The surreal Mansarover

The surreal Mansarover


The magical M – of Mansarover, Miracle, Mastery of Mind, Mohanji…

I must admit that I was dreading the experience of Mansarover. We were in Himalayas, in our winter jackets with several layers of clothing below – it’s not all that easy to believe that we can just blissfully enter the ice cold water and take 9 or more dips in it, without any consequences to our health. During the long bus ride on the way to Mansarover, my mind kept bombarding me with the fearful thoughts like “If I get the ovary inflammation due to that ice cold water, the whole yatra is gone for a toss. Is it really worth the risk?” At one point I got tired of these thoughts and decided to share the same with Mohanji. He immediately reassured me that I will be just fine. He said there is no way I could miss this opportunity of a lifetime – the cleansing at Mansarover lake is too powerful, it penetrates and removes the negativities of many lifetimes.
When we reached Mansarover, its surreal beauty, its surreal beauty left us in awe. While admiring its azure green shades and divine sparkles of sun reflection on the water I suddenly saw a strong flash coming from the clouds. It was just like somebody flashed with the photo camera a couple of meters away from my face – except that this was coming from the clouds far away. I kept looking intently through the window of our bus but could not see anything after that strong flash. I wondered what that was. A couple of minutes later, Spomenka shared with me the photos she clicked with her mobile and pointed at 2 balls of light that were visible on a dozen of photos, all in different locations (in the clouds, near the Mansarover water, near one house, etc.) I was totally amazed – this was it! The celestial beings made their presence known to us in the most unexpected way. I was getting more and more excited about our Mansarover dip!

Pic 5 - Celestial beings at Mansarover...

Celestial beings at Mansarover

When we reached the beach and the bus door opened, my joy was spoiled by many mosquitoes of huge size (at least 3 times bigger than the usual ones) that surrounded us all of a sudden. I kept waving with my hands in distress until one of the tour organizers said with a smile “Nothing to worry, these are vegetarian mosquitoes. They don’t bite.” I was not sure whether he was joking or not, but soon realized that they were indeed not biting us. “Vegetarian mosquitoes” – how amazing was that?! I laughed and said this must be some good karma due to being vegetarian :-).
The overall feel on the beach was surprisingly great. The weather was perfect (22ºC), totally sunny and pleasant, and all of us rushed to remove the clothes and enter the water. I soon came to notice that most people had their bikinis or whatever was the choice of clothing on them already, so they were ready for the dip in no time. I was yet to change my clothes and had to wait for one of the two small tents allocated for the ladies, which took time.

Kailash was at first not visible from the clouds and then, as if in Divine theater, we saw only the base of it getting revealed beneath the white clouds, with unmistakable small ‘m’ clearly written all over it.

Small 'm' at Mansarover

Small ‘m’ at Mansarover

What a beautiful welcome for Mohanji and all of us! After some time, the clouds parted and our joy knew no bounds as we beheld both, Mansarover and Kailash with our physical eyes.
I finally got to change my clothes, took a deep breath and entered Mansarover – the cold water was strangely energizing and the feeling of diving into it and then looking at Kailash between each dip was truly grand. After doing 9 dips and enjoying the view of Kailash some more, I had the desire to perform abhishek of Mohanji with Mansarover water.

Pic 7 - M at Mansarover

I looked to my left and saw him turning towards the shore at that same moment. Since he entered the water much before me, he was just about to leave. I ran in his direction and shouted “Wait for me, wait for me!” Sumit and Spomenka also shouted “Biba is coming!” Some strange excitement overwhelmed me and my heart was beating like crazy! I briefly saw Mohanji’s eyes and understood immediately that he was in an expanded state – the expression in his almost red eyes was very Shaivic, very powerful. My heart melted as I did the abhishek and then suddenly ‘bham!’ – a totally unexpected blow which almost knocked me off. Mohanji poured water on my head but energetically it felt like a mighty slap, as if the water thundered on me high up from a mountain. I was squatting in the water and barely managed to fold my palms when ‘bham!’- another ‘hit’ came, so strong that it felt like it literally peeled a layer from my body/system. There was no time to think, pray, breathe, or even remotely try to understand what was happening. With eyes full of water and tears, I looked at Kailash in the distance, and then ‘bham!’, another hit and another layer peeled off. I cried and laughed at the same time, in total delirium, in total gratitude. The next thing I recall is Mohanji leaving the lake supported by Sumit and one more person and me exiting the water as well.

Mansarover, baptism by Mohanji

Mansarover, baptism by Mohanji

I still did not fully ‘digest’ this experience nor do I know how to name it. Baptism by Shiva? Astral operation in the lake Mansarover by the mighty surgeon Shiva? Whatever it was, I am forever grateful to Mohanji, to Shiva, for granting me the blessing I could not have even prayed for because I never knew it was possible…

After we reached our accommodation next to the lake Mansarover, I came to know that Sumit clicked a couple of photos with his mobile while I was undergoing this experience. My heart skipped a beat when I browsed through the photos and noticed Shiva’s third eye on my forehead, as if deeply engraved. I just kept looking at it, totally speechless… Om Namah Shivaaye!

 Shiva's third eye on my forehead

Shiva’s third eye on my forehead


Celestial beings

That night I could not fall asleep – out of sheer excitement over this experience and the overall feeling of being totally energized. A couple of us agreed that we would wake up at 3am and go to the wall that separates our accommodation from the Mansarover beach in order to see whether any of the celestial beings would come to take a bath in the lake. It was not clear whether that was 3am Chinese, Nepalese or Indian time, so in the end myself and Ami ended up going to the wall 2h before the others came. It was so beautiful and auspicious to stand there in pin drop silence. Cold wind was blowing, but we didn’t mind – the lake looked truly magical. Ami sang a Violet flame prayer most beautifully and our hearts were filled with love. In less than a couple of minutes we saw a light similar to that of a star on the sky – it just appeared in the middle of the lake, as if floating on the water. Our jaws dropped! It moved a bit to the left, then to the right, then went under the water (took a dip), then surfaced again, changed color to pinkish, then to red – it was magical, to say the least. We stood there for more than an hour and saw at least a dozen of them. As we were just about to leave, another light appeared but far brighter than the others. It was floating on the water and moving towards us. It looked like two twinkling stars on top of each other. I became breathless as I clearly felt it/them connecting energetically to my heart chakra. The sensation was incredibly beautiful. At that point two hours have already passed it and I was eager to share this experience with others who wanted to have the experience. Our little group gathered soon and we went to the wall again. At this point more people were waking up and some were using their flash lights. The sacred silence was broken and celestial beings would not come/reveal themselves. We stood there for 30 min. or so but nothing happened. Slightly disappointed, we decided to go back to our rooms. Monja and I stayed a bit longer, but since celestial beings were not to be seen we started walking towards our accommodation. As we walked, I felt the sensation on the back of the heart chakra. I turned around and there it was, the celestial being with strong almost fluorescent light shining from the middle of the lake. We stood at the same spot and looked at it in awe. I opened my heart chakra in deepest gratitude, embracing its blessings…

Pic 13 - M and white cap and specs
The next day we saw something even more amusing – Mohanji’s face (semi profile) on Mount Kailash, but this time with sunglasses and a white cap which he wore many times during the yatra.

I laughed and asked Mohanji “How come you are wearing the sunglasses?” He smiled and said: “Shiva is pulling a prank. He has a good sense of humor.” All this and our yatra did not even start! :-)

Kailash

Mohanji’s face on Kailash


Churning time

It is only natural that we compare ourselves to others and derive logical conclusions. When the trekking started, I recall somebody telling me “Oh, lucky you – you practice Yoga and pranayama, so yatra must be much easier for you.” I looked around and saw so many people elder to me, and/or people whose bodies conveyed sedentary lifestyle, and in view of many years of Yoga practice plus my preparation in the gym, my mind accepted this comment as true. Oh, the subtle traps of ego. Little did I know how soon these concepts and logical conclusions would be shattered to pieces in the mighty Shaivic energies of Kailash…

I started the 3 days of trekking (the actual Kailash yatra) in the height of restlessness. I was told that morning that weather could be very cold and thus added many layers of clothing onto my body. However, by the time we were to start the trek, the sun was blazing and I starting sweating a lot while waiting for the allocation of ponies and porters to be over. I was given a piece of paper with the name of the owner of the pony and was told to make sure I don’t lose it. Before I knew it, Mohanji and the rest of our team started walking and I was still not able to identify the pony allocated to me (which I intended to use only in case I fall sick/weak and cannot continue the yatra on foot). I requested some of the Tibetan porters to read out to me the name written on this piece of paper, but none of them could read the handwriting with which it was written – I was stuck! Sumit told me not to worry –the man who owns the pony will surely search for me as this is their livelihood. I thus started walking, even though I felt quite unsettled. Under the scorching sun I soon removed my heavy jacket and tied it around my waist. Then I removed my winter scarf and tied it around my waist. The next was my black sweater – it too found its place around my waist. I felt so heavy with all this clothing hanging from my waist, plus the two walking sticks that I didn’t feel like using, water bottle, snacks – it all felt like a lot of luggage as the lack of oxygen started to make me feel increasingly weak. On top of it all, this inexplicable frustration and restlessness kept building within me – in fact, I never felt this restless in my whole life! I pretty much felt like a helpless child lost in a crowded market place. Other yatris kept passing me by, either on ponies or by foot, and I felt that I was the slowest and most miserable of them all. I could not recognize myself – I have faced far greater challenges in my life, but my inner state was never this bad. Then one of our sweet yatris Akshay came with a big umbrella and offered me most lovingly to share its blessed shade with him. That felt so great and I was very grateful. My morale was boosted a bit and soon everything seemed to be falling into place – the owner of the pony appeared and I was able to offload on him my heavy jacket and whatever else I could. That was such a relief! It was as if I had to be reminded of how important it is to “Travel light through life, drop the unnecessary luggage”.

Still, I was feeling quite breathless and clearly lacked the stamina. This took me by surprise. I was quite happy that from the beginning of the trip my body was coping with the hypoxia (high altitude sickness) so well while many of our yatris were vomiting and falling sick. Another instance of sumptuous feeding of the ego, coupled with the wrong assumption that the same trend would continue till the end of the yatra.
The straight path slowly turned into our first bigger hill. Due to hypoxia, what would have been a normal climb in the usual conditions, became a great struggle for breath after every couple of steps. I tried all breathing and concentration techniques known to me, but still could not keep the pace without stopping to catch the breath. My confidence was shattered and I felt totally miserable. After somehow climbing the first hill I had to admit to myself that I could no longer cope. With a heavy heart, I decided to use a pony. At that point, hypoxia already overwhelmed my system and the very act of climbing onto a pony made me gasp for breath. The scenery around me was stunning, but I could not enjoy any of it as all my energy was spent on maintaining the balance on the pony and ensuring I take a sip of water frequently enough to avoid dehydration that makes hypoxia even worse.

By the time we reached our destination, Derapuk camp, with the stunning view of the North Face of Kailash, I could not wait to crash into a bed.

Pic 15 - M, Biba and big M on Kailash, North face

It was freezing cold, there were no toilet facilities, mud, chaos, noise – difficult to say what was worse, my inner state or my surrounding… It was ironic – the mighty Kailash that I dreamed of seeing for years was now right before my eyes, but I could not bring myself to even utter a prayer – I was just so miserable at all levels – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, as disconnected as I could be from my Higher Self, Mohanji, Kailash, Divine…. I felt like finding a hole and hiding in it… When I entered the room in which Mohanji was seated with several other yatris, I witnessed with a blank expression on my face how they were overflowing with devotion, gratitude and joy, laughing and sharing beautiful experiences, massaging his feet, soaking in love – Dhriti managed to walk to the point at which one could touch Kailash and came back with a big radiant smile. Others shared their own experiences… That made me even more miserable – I had nothing, absolutely nothing to share, zero ‘bhaav’ (feeling/flavor of genuine devotion), and I would never try to fake it. I felt totally numb, disconnected and miserable.

At one point Mohanji looked me straight in the eyes and said “You are in the illusion of doership, that is why you are going through this. You think you can do the yatra relying on your physical strength and stamina, that you are the doer. When you lose the bhaav, you lose the grace – simple.” This comment crushed the last inner wall that kept me composed – I knew that what Mohanji said was absolutely true and admitted to myself that I totally lacked surrender. I could not understand how this could happen to me though. I waited and prayed for years to come to Kailash and now that I reached I felt nothing! I was agonized. To a person on a spiritual path, there is no greater pain than spiritual numbness, the feeling of being disconnected from one’s Guru/Higher Self/Divine. After Mohanji uttered those words so bluntly, I had to agree – it was not about the hypoxia, the pony that was not to be found, or any other silly reason. This was all about me and my ‘doership’, my lack of surrender, while Kailash was right in front of my face! I had a bit of a warm herbal tea and disappeared into my room eager to sleep and rest from this agonizing turmoil, hoping that somehow sleep would make it all better.

(to be continued..)

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Tears of Joy

By Monja Wolf

1

Experiences. The search and waiting for them and the excitement when they happen, I assume. Because I never have experiences. I never have visions. I never “see” or “smell” anything extraordinary. I can only assume. But what I do have and what I do feel is love. Pure, unconditional and unlimited love, always pouring down on me, guiding me and taking care of me.

My journey seems to embark deeper and deeper and unfolds only one certainty. A certainty that is too big, too vast, too grand to ever be expressed in our simple words. A certainty that can only be felt and lived. It is the mystery and magic of love, of feeling loved and of loving.

And whenever I grasp a glimpse of this certainty, whenever this wave of love immerses me, tears of joy roll down my cheeks. And these tears of joy are truly the most precious gift I was ever given. It is these tears of joy that push me further, assure me, love me and awaken me.

2

Tears there were many on my journey to Kailash. They kept flowing. Formed by a strange mix of pain, love and gratitude. The darshans and experiences that seem to lurk around every corner in this blessed land, I acknowledge from afar. They encourage to ask “Why am I here?”. They assert me “I am hereout of love. For I deeply long to be united and dissolve with what I love!”.

But wait. Dissolve in what, in whom? In the God ahead of me, behind me or perhaps inside me?I look ahead,I see Kailash. I look back, I see Mohanji. I am beautifully torn and seem to start a dance. I walk. I stop. I return. I walk ahead again. I am in ecstasy on this first day of parikrama.

3

But the mission to complete soon painfully takes over. From the second day onwards a meticulous effort to set one foot in front of the other begins. For months my only goal for this trip was to walk on foot. I deeply wanted to pay my full tribute to Shiva. I had played all possible scenarios in my mind. I was ready to sacrifice whatever it may be, suffer in whatever way it takes as long as I walk, if barefoot, sick or on one leg.I was prepared, I thought. I did sports all my life, from marathons to triathlons. Running, yoga, meditation and chanting was all part of my regime. I had no doubts about reaching. He said I will. I was confident and had full faith in Mohanji’s blessings and guidance. However the big question was how many tests will be placed along the way.

From this second day onwards everything is a blur, an expanded state of being. After hours of walking I finally see Dolma Pass’ flags wavingin the wind in the distance. It feels mighty, heavy, scary. I sit down one last time to mentally prepare and reassure myself just before we ascend to its peak. I know I only have one mission: I must reach. I try to surrender. I ask for surrender. I want to pass on this mighty task to Mohanji, to Sai Baba. I long for Shiva’s grace.

4 Mohanji

I find myself in the repetitive circle of taking a few steps, sitting down, grasping for air, looking up, yearning to see the top coming closer and taking a few steps again. Reaching Dolma Pass seems like an eternity. One new hill pops up around the corner after the others. All I know is that I must keep walking. Tibetans pass us and seeing our struggle hand out herbs and local cigarettes. We are a group of four. Knowing they are next to me, comforts me. But just as we are getting closer to the top, rain and hail starts pouring down. Yes hail! I am surrounded by darkness and heaviness. Perhaps the end of the world comes close to describing the scene and how I felt. I know Mohanji hears every single thought of mine. I know he is with me. But perhaps I have not yet fully surrendered? Shiva must be angry I wonder?And still all I know is that I must keep walking. I must reach. Finally, at last I see flags all around me.

5

I don’t have the energy to look or stop or be joyful. I just want to pass the top and sit down on the other side. The exact moment we have passed Dolma Pass the sun comes out again. The rain stops. I turn to my friend and utter “I have never done something so difficult in my life” and I cry like a little girl. I like to believe I am tough. I love challenges. I love proper exercise. I usually don’t cry. But I have never experienced anything like that. The rest of the parikrama and remaining hours of walking continue to take all my energy. I hope to see our guestrooms one curve after the other, hour after hour. It just never seems to end. All I want is to reach the end.

6

In the evening I finally peacefully sink into my bed. This second day of parikrama turned out to be the most difficult and most painful day of my life. What has happened and still is happening, I don’t really know. Yet, a few days before the parikrama Mohanji suggested a pony may be a good idea due to my altitude sickness. I determinedly replied “Even if I will die, I will walk on foot”. Now I wonder if perhaps I did die? Perhaps I left something behind, up there in Dolma Pass, something too big for me to comprehend. Whatever it was, the pain seems irrelevant now. An event from the past.The feeling of struggle has been replaced and filled with a deep connection, steadiness and clarity. I feel showered with blessings. In fact I long to return and send my wish out the universe: Kailash, we shall meet again!

7

Looking back on this journey, looking back in life, I can only wonder. I wonder about perfectly timed events and countless worldly pleasures I am showered with. They leave me puzzled. They leave me in awe. Do they matter in my life? They don’t. But perhaps what they teach me is to have the audacity to see all miracles, seemingly unimportant miracles in our every day life that express again and again his never ending love. Then I have a grin on my face, think of his smirking face and say “Thank you. Well played Mohanji”. God loves fun!

8 Mohanji

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