By Nameshri Chetty
With unwavering faith, trust and love, I write about my story with Mohanji so far…
In April 2014, I received a call from a very dear friend of mine who had an interesting conversation about me at a college mate’s baby shower . She had told me to expect a call that same evening from a lady . At that point in my life, I was going through a bitter divorce ending a lifetime relationship spanning 28 years. I was also totally dedicated to my spiritual path (without any structure) and was completely immersed in the worship of Lord Shiva. Towards the evening, I received a call from Ami who I had never spoken to before. She told me about a Master known as Mohanji and about Kailash. I was overwhelmed with emotions as I was busy watching a TV series called Mahadev and the connection seemed instantaneous. Then and there I decided, “Kailash here I come.” , Please bear in mind that I knew no one, not even Mohanji or what this pilgrimage was about. All I knew was that I was going. I contacted Mohanji’s Facebook profile who asked me to contact the Kailash desk. Within a week, I was booked to leave in 3 months.
My first encounter with Mohanji was in Kathmandu and that was, as they say, just the beginning (at least to my mind’s knowledge at that time). The Kailash Yatra was indescribable. So much of Shiva’s grace flowed over and through me. I was graced by an amazing Sherpa called Siddha and his pony Tha translating into Siddhatha (another name for Buddha). That by itself speaks of the grace of Mohanji. Many had experiences that they would say tested them, but for me, I was just shown care and protection throughout my Yatra . My Sherpa just showered me with unconditional love, care, and respect . Of course, it was always Mohanji in the background as usual.
On returning from Kailash, Mohanji’s graced flowed through each day. I had a dream where I saw Mohanji in different colored spotlights. I would have normally chosen green but I chose charcoal the color of Kailash . There I heard the Divine say, “Mohanji is Kailash”. Managing to live a normal life after Kailash becomes very touch and go, as you see what real living is about, after you have been exposed to the grace of a Master and been in the sacred space that is Kailash. It is your connection to the source. All other things fall away .
It was January 2015. I had been faced with a very tough decision of asking my children to both go and live with their father as the home environment became very toxic. As any parent knows, we live for our children and we never want to be separated from them. But as I spoke to them about leaving, a certain calm came over me. I spoke to them rationally and confidently. I realized once they had left that it was actually Mohanji that was there holding my hand. That same day. I spoke to him only for him to validate that he was. He told me to lead by example and be the Lioness that I am. Gosh! It was time to be a big girl now. First, my marriage was all that I ever knew. Then it was my children. All that I was living for was gone. 😱
As the days turned into weeks into months, I started filling all my free time and, trust me I had lots, with strengthening my connection with Mohanji . And boy, did it get strong. Mohanji ‘s constant message be it via dreams or through interactions was it will be okay. As time went on, I realized why there are many many tests when one chooses this path. The biggest test is detachment. All that I thought was ME (or I thought defined ME) was taken away. All that I chose to live for and serve was taken away and all that was left was the real ME.
I became aware and felt the teachings of Mohanji about connecting to the source of the person rather than the personality. I started to live with detachment. I did question my behavior at times. Like questions on my choice as a mother to live without my children, on my being unaffected by their lack of interaction with me. People started seeing me as aloof. I knew that I must love unconditionally from a distance and that Mohanji has my back. I lived and breathed Mohanji’s teachings “live by example”, “be the lioness”, and “love unconditionally”
In November 2015, I went to India on the Kumbhakonam retreat with Mohanji. It was a tough decision as my son turned 21 and daughter turned 13 two milestone birthdays. Considering that they had no contact with me, I was in a dilemma. Knowing my children, I would never hear the end of it if I had left them and gone during their birthdays irrespective of their standing in our relationship. During one of my meditation, it was a clear message from Mohanji that I should go. I then arranged for birthday cakes, cards and gifts for them while I was away. During this retreat, I felt a shift in me. As usual, in the very unassuming way that only Mohanji can be, he in passing said that it will be okay .It was on this trip that I fully surrendered to the grace that is Mohanji . That same December, both my son and daughter came back home. Yay, they were back. They came back as changed children to a changed mother.
The children embraced their lesson of separation. They also embraced Mohanji’s presence both in my life and theirs as they came back to a home that was fully present with Mohanji’s grace. The children started to smell the fragrance of burning incense (usually the way Mohanji makes his presence felt) throughout the night and day. They even heard footsteps at night.
It was during one of the morning meditations when I received a very clear message from Mohanji. It went something like this, “We are love. We only want to give love.” Whilst in that space of communication with Mohanji, I saw how I was protected and held closely by Mohanji through each and every step of my life. When I filed for divorce in 2012, I had no idea what it was like to fend for myself. I hadn’t even paid a bill by myself ever. I had no bank account. I had no idea of how the real world worked. Yet, I took the leap.
I was introduced to a great lawyer that took on my case. I overcame each hurdle of the difficult process. How many would ask ? It was always Mohanji’s grace. When my human mind felt tired and my heart was empty. he filled with hope. There was never a point where I was unable to do or be what I needed to. I was a single mother yet no one had taken advantage of me or my children (considering the times we live in). When I needed something, there was always someone there to assist me. When I was 500km away from home and needed brakes on my car, a distant relative offered his car (it was a Range Rover) whilst he fixed my car and drove it up to me for free. And, and, and… Mohanji was with me through each and every step of my life even before I knew of him.
I realized that, although I had been through many a hardship, I somehow managed to be happy, optimistic and hopeful. Always trusting that tomorrow would be better and that people are good. I now saw the thread, that was Mohanji, that held all my life experiences together. I was now able to feel that we are love. So why not show it? This happened shortly before Mohanji’s South African visit.
Mohanji’s visit to SA is a blur for me as I was immersed in service , gratitude and love for him and all that was possible in my position. I had asked my once-reluctant children to join in the retreat and, to my joy, they agreed . When they first met Mohanji, there was an automatic trust that had formed. Trust me! I too was shocked as they did not ask, even once, to leave the weekend program. Instead, they assisted where they could. How things had changed… Though the one thing that I do remember from the South African retreat is Mohanji’s capacity to be everything at anytime, anywhere . He managed to make each and everyone feel as if He was with them .
Mere (My in Hindi) Mahadev, I surrender graciously and humbly at your feet, for you are the beginning and end of all that is not.
Thank you my dearest Mohanji , much love always your forever grateful Nameshri!
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