Note: All participants shared their experiences addressing the audience or Mohanji
I would like to share how I was born again, in the very sense of this word. The impressions are still settling down. I decided to write this down in more detail and publish a blog. I still don’t know how I will do that because what happened to me is indescribable by words. I know exactly which date it was. It was on 28th June, our Vidovdan holiday, we had an exercise where we focused on the heart chakra. After cleansing and working on the heart chakra I felt as if new wings grew on me and as if I could fly. In the heart chakra region I felt so liberated, such lightness, happy, bathed, that I cannot express it enough. I loved you all, I saw you all with all your positive and negative characteristics, my life, parents, but absolutely everything, and I said, WOOOF! Thank you Mohanji, that is it at this retreat! I felt and I was sure that was all during this retreat because it was so intense and deep. I was positively shocked with the feeling I had and with the realisation how much more I could love and accept things.
However that was not the end. My Guru decided there was more, and I couldn’t even imagine there was more than that (laughing). I remember the dates, because of what happened on 30th June, I decided that this day will be my second birthday. I suppose you have all seen me how I tottered up to this point, to Mohanji, I bowed down to Him and surrendered and committed myself and my life absolutely to Him. We chanted Om…etc, followed by Shiva Kavacham mantra. Since my heart chakra had been cleansed, everything was super, smoothly until Shiva Kavacham started… (laughing) Then what happened I’m going to try to explain. I know Shiva Kavacham almost all by heart and I literally have sensations from the crown chakra to the big toe. However, this time it was something totally different.
Mohanji: It’s because I am here (laughing).
Izabela: … At one moment, while I was listening Shiva Kavacham, I just felt that Mohanji was literally taking me through some blockages in me that had been left, and which had been formed a very long time ago and as I supposed it was from some past lives. It would be understatement if I said the feeling was uncomfortable, when I realized there were more blockages while he was taking me through the process. I will just say I went through the moment when I was a fetus in my mother’s womb.
Then the party started…
Such a white-red light started shining literally going through me, in circles, at an unimaginable speed. I had never felt this before, not only physically, but I had also never seen anything moving at such speed in my life as this energy was. The faster the energy moved, the faster I was going through these blockages. This was accompanied with some stiffness, numbness, where my arms and legs and face were completely numb. I was not aware of it immediately at that moment. I was just aware that I was hyperventilating, breathing at a super fast speed. At once, a kind of severe pain started waking me out of that trance out of that trance and energy. Because of that spasm of the muscles, with energy keeping flowing through me, I was thinking,“Come on, Mohanji, take it all out of me, whatever is there left, take it out more, more… I’ll survive this and then I’m moving on.“
Now when I am talking about it it sounds cute and nice but I was going through the pain it was not very pleasant at all! At one moment I recognized a little fear and then I countered it, “Hey, let it all go, He is here.“ I surrendered myself,“Let’s go till the end.“
Then I felt I was totally wet. I don’t remember that tremendous heat at all, but I was completely sticky with my clothes sticking to my skin.
It lasted until the end of Shiva Kavacham. After that I felt relaxation and tears, but that spasm of my body lasted for some time.
When I came back to my senses, and it took some time because my body was sore, then I staggered up to Mohanji and bowed down to Him. The pain was subsiding and on the contrary, I was literally feeling reborn. It is not a figure of speech. I really, literally mean the feeling of being born again, when you come out into this world and make your first newborn cry.
Since then, nothing is the same to me any more. I have a feeling of such lightness and such love and acceptance of all that I cannot describe in words.
Nothing of this would have happened if Mohanji wasn’t there. (turning to Mohanji) Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
(to everybody): If we see each other again at some retreat on 30th June, I’m bringing a birthday cake because this is my new birthday!
Thank you all for being here to share this with me.
Before all, I want to thank our Father Mohanji, then I want to thank a certain group of people who made this all possible. Many of you do not have any idea what challenges they were going through. It was going on for months and it was not at all easy. I had a chance to experience the retreat when I was not a part of the retreat and now when I am a part of it. I thank Spahovic sisters, Maja and Sanja. I also thank those who assisted me, Brane, Matija, Martin, Bilja, Spomenka, Nina, Monika, thank you all.
Audience: Thank YOU.
Milos: Thank you Sanjay.
As for my experience, briefly, I felt something like this on Andrevlje in Serbia, in Bosnia and here, too. It is difficult if not impossible to go through this at home with various practices. I am grateful for having given to us this self-realising mantra, Om….etc. It is an unbelievably deep technique for me. I really did my best while I was doing it. At one moment I lost the feeling of my body. I had a feeling I was levitating. After that, some unbelievable emptiness and peace. Also unity – I really felt deep unity. At that moment nothing from the outside could touch it and I still keep feeling it. Of course, I had various reactions along the way, sometimes I was a bit louder, sometimes quieter. Anyway, it is very important that each moment I felt deep peace and deep connection with myself. People would say,“You are irritable now.“ Yes, I expressed this, but it was all on the surface. Each moment of my anger I was deeply connected to myself and stressful situations could not touch me. Also, at the moment of deep peace, deep emptiness, that tremendous space that is within us… I think my heart chakra exploded! It was a huge hole, or how else to call it. I think this is my eighth or ninth retreat and each retreat I am born again. Each retreat this is new Milos, new Milos, new Milos. Unbelievable. It is such a tremendous power when you can flow through life in such a way – that whatever happens on the outside cannot touch you.
Of course, there may be disagreements, but nothing can touch you because you are deeply connected with yourself within. Absolutely nothing. It is an unbelievable power.
(Transcribed and translated into English by Biljana Vozarevic)