Written by Sudeshna Saha (India), May 20-25, 2016
How did Mohanji happen to me?
Please bear with the foreground.
The year 2015 was a very restless year to start with, as I had to shift from one city in India to another for the fifth time in 10 years since marriage, which meant packing and unpacking, finding a rented house, locate a good school, sell some old stuff, buy new, bid farewell, find the right packers and movers etc. etc. Although I was now a seasoned player in the art of shifting, but hated the rigor/gruel of settling and unsettling in a city. Finding a seat in a good school in a metropolis like Chennai has always been a nightmare for parents as it means paying huge donations or finding a jack to get you a seat. And I needed TWO seats for my two angels! By God’s grace everything went well and my elder daughter managed to get a seat through a written entrance test in a very reputed school without donations and my second daughter too got through in the sibling quota. But all this at the cost of 6 months of restless nights and anxiety of various hues.
Life seemed perfect to me till I shifted to Chennai, in May 2015. That was the beginning of things to come. I do not know how and why, I was getting sucked by a whirlpool of negative thoughts with aversion to everything around me and most of it was coming out as anger and frustration towards the school, the system of education and performance of my child. Everybody explained to me that she is only in Grade 3 and that it was not so important to score high at this stage of life. But slowly and steadily I was heading towards something more drastic. I could not eat, sleep or even put my thoughts in place. I had not had a wink of sleep for about 2 months, I had even given up food, doing my daily chores, interacting with people, taking phone calls, to the extent that I was a kind of pushed into uttering these words to my husband, ‘I wish to die’. I was thrashed against the wall for having said that and was termed an ‘escapist’. Frantically, my husband, who is otherwise a very caring person, was now angry, nervous, shaken and dilapidated, decided to fly me to my friend in Mumbai, a healer, who tried all her means to bring me back from the state I was in.
I was aware that, what I was saying and doing was not me but an external entity which had docked inside me and was uttering and making me do things to tarnish the good image people had of me. My soul would cry helplessly but this foreign entity would tell me that I am of no use to my family and that I must cross-over. I was in a living stinking body with some unknown force guiding my movements, thoughts and actions, which made me look like an idiot, who cannot even wash her own body, let alone cook, feed the kids, teach, drive or shop, which I would do so easily and naturally. My body started to stink so much that I would be pushed away by my kids and my husband would ask me to sleep in a different room. I could not feel my children, my husband and no emotions would bother me. My friend would take me to temples where I would be completely restless and would want to run away. Music, Bhajans and any sound was an irritant to me. While my real soul would want to cry but was stifled and no tears would spill out, till one day when I actually tried to kill this physical body and be relieved of all this. But I fortunately failed in doing that too. It was now the turn of medical practitioners to try their hands on me. All they could do was to put me to sleep. I was now given sleeping pills and antidepressants and within two months I was addicted to it. This was a phase wherein I started to cry for every little thing. Without medicines I would be reckless with a shooting pain in my head and I would frantically pop in the pills and go to sleep.
My next door neighbour, Rekha Murali, was a witness to all of this and I would often tell her, “Please help me, I feel somebody is sucking out my happiness”.
Having seen my state of affairs, she had written to Mohanji about me and he had instructed her to give me the “two eyes”. She had pleaded me to keep it in my Puja room and look into them for at least 5 mins a day. I would try, but could not manage more than 30 sec or maximally 60.
Rekha would always mention about POP (Power of Purity ) meditation, a guided 45-minute meditation in Mohanji’s voice, but for some reason or the other, we could not do it. We somehow made it a point to start the new year, Jan 1, 2016 with good vibes by doing the POP. We were successful!!! Though I could not concentrate or hear the instructions properly, it gave me a direction. I followed it up with another 3 sessions alone at home, with headphones and by Jan 10, 2016, a span of 10 days, bridged the gap from addiction to medicine free state. I was relieved of all pain and each POP guided me to show my gratitude to different sets of people, which I generously did. Miracles do happen and Mohanji’s POP did it all!!!
Furthermore, I have been a hypothyroid patient for the past 23 years, but clinically my doctors were unable to relate my situation to it as I currently have much higher levels of TSH (Thyroid stimulating hormones) than what I had at the time when I was insane. Everybody, including me could never imagine such a sudden coming back, to the extent that I, who has never been a confident driver, decides to participate in a Car Rally, supposedly the longest one called “Times Women’s Drive”, an all Women rally, organized by Times of India.
I was definitely giving credit to POP but not the man himself. I had not connected to the physical form of this person, neither did I have any intention to know or see him, given my aversion to the clan of so called “babas”, due to my childhood experiences of them, which my parents had connected to.
As an ode to what POP meditation had done to me, I enrolled for “A day in Mohanji’s consciousness” in Chennai on March 8, 2016, just the next day after I had come back from the car rally. I never spoke to him, although the volunteers asked me if I wanted to talk to him in person. I never took the opportunity which was easily thrown to me. I was just okay being in his presence and absorb, as I really had no words and I knew I could only cry and actually howled throughout the day long session. They asked me to share my experiences which I couldn’t. After receiving my first ever Shaktipat that day, I am TRANSFORMED. I have never, ever felt so confident about myself and each passing day I see people with only LOVE and I am receiving only LOVE!
After this one experience, I am drawn to an unknown land and I who have never travelled out of the country alone, is pulled into this beautiful land of Bosnia and Herzegovina, just to be in the presence of this enigma called –MOHANJI.
Words are too binding to describe the experience, and the feelings too overwhelming to be put across as I am limited by my vocabulary.
Mohanji is ‘humility’ personified – a spiritual leader with a difference. He is first a friend who knows to remove the shackles that inhibit the person from being their true selves. He becomes one among us when it’s fun and play, he is the strict director when it comes to work, a meticulous organizer in terms of implementing the schedules and an intense spiritual guide who just simplifies the whole serious gamut of it, with talks which are so easily digestible and understandable. The best part is, he will make you feel all of it with self-realization through his divine presence while you sleep, eat, talk and do your daily chores. He grows into our conscious and sub-conscious state and tingles every cell of our body into a renewed, rejuvenated being.
About the Bosnian Retreat
When I told friends and relatives that I was going to Bosnia to see the Pyramids, the first reaction was invariably, “Of all places Bosnia!? We did not know there were pyramids in Bosnia at all!!!” I also had not known until Mohanji mentioned it in the Chennai satsang.
A period of four and a half days, was time bound with well-scheduled programmes. Absolutely, “no time wasted”. Food and stay was at its best. The day we reached, it was raining and the weather was gloomy and chill. I did not know what to expect from such retreats, and was somewhat reserved and withdrawn knowing that I was the only Indian from India other than Mohanji. But each member of Team Serbia made things so easy and comfortable, and the first welcome hug from Mohanji made me feel so much at home.
I am not going to say anything about the Pyramids in this testimony, as it is an experience to savour in person. Our guide Ajdin (pronounced as “Audeen”), explained to us about the 38000-year-old architectural phenomenon with great passion, threading in the spiritual aspect so beautifully and explicitly. Mohanji made us experience this phenomenon carrying us to higher realms.
Miracles on the Pyramid of Sun
Our guide was surprised to see bright sunshine the first day we started with our trek. He said, “It has been raining since the last 15 days and we could hardly believe when Mohanji said that the weather will not be a problem”. We remained blessed with bright sunshine all the days. It drizzled on the last day when we climbed the Pyramid of Sun, but all along we never got wet!!! We could see downpour, with thunder and lightning on hills on either side of the pyramid, while sunshine prevailed on us. Miraculous! We would have frozen had we got wet.
Here is a picture showing Mohanji trying to ward off the clouds.
I am lucky to have captured a picture of Biljana Vozerevic (at her request), the Trishul which appeared on her forehead while meditating on top of Pyramid of Sun. This was actually a red tilak ( holy vermilion which Indians put on forhead – on third eye) which was put on her by Jayashree, an Indian girl from London at the hotel in the morning. This picture was clicked around 3pm in the afternoon, after we had come down from the pyramid and Jayashree happened to notice this on the bus. As a reconfirmation, Biljana asked me to notice if it actually looked like a Trishul. And to me it did. Biljana kept the whole thing to herself, as she was laughed at by the people at home, who simply put it down to frowning. But I decided to ask Mohanji and he confirmed it was!!! It means presence or connection with Shiva.
This is what she shared with me in her own words, “This was after I meditated on top of the pyramid of the Sun. I melted and disappeared in love and tears. I did not hear anything around. When I came out of meditation, everybody had left. I ran and ran down to the bus and after a few kilometres, I met a few people on the way, so luckily, I managed to rejoin the group.”
At the Pyramid of Moon
On the way to the Pyramid of Moon on May 23, 2016, we halted at a base which was so green and beautiful. A girl from London, Agnieszka, sat beside me while I was basking in the natural beauty around and see the mesmerizing beauty ‘Devi’ posing for snaps. She asked me if I wanted to have a photo clicked with Mohanji, to which I agreed quite reluctantly. She asked for my phone and said, “Come, all are clicking, I shall click for you”. I followed in her direction, without much interest. I am happy and grateful to her for this precious click. Observe these pictures closely.
The Halo moves from the Centre to left, up and to the top of Mohanji’s head.
I had shared this with my Chennai group of Mohanji’s disciples and here are some of their reactions, without their names:
“Is it a Shiva Linga …. appeared on Mohanji’s throat? This is really a blessing.”
“What is this bluish aura near Mohanji’s chest?”
“Amazing Sudeshna! You are blessed! Is it Shiva’s eye?”
“I see a peacock feather.”
“Such an amazing capture. I see the Shiva Linga and also a subtle rainbow necklace and a semicircular halo on the linga…thank u so very much for sharing your experiences and these amazing photos.”
To me it is Mohanji’s blessing and I can see a halo with some face in the centre which I cannot identify. Also a stream of rainbow running across.
After we reached the top of the Pyramid of Moon, Devi taught us a new breathing technique and Mohanji guided us at each level and at the end of it, there was a huge outburst of emotions in all participants. What a cleansing phenomenon! I could feel the breeze stand still while we breathed and a gush of one directional wind sweeping out all negative emotions and thoughts which were immediately followed by Mohanji’s intermittent instructions “Relaaaaax”.
At the Tumulus
It’s supposedly a spiral energy vortex. When we were climbing we could hear this loud gnawing sound of excavation which was quite annoying and definitely a disturbance for meditation. Surprisingly the sound stopped abruptly when we commenced meditation and they resumed soon after we completed the meditation process. Our guide pointed out the miracle and I blurted, “Did anyone ask them to stop?” Mohanji just smiled and I knew what he meant.
The Power of Shaktipat
The Bosnian retreat was different, as for the first time, we were blessed with two simultaneous Shaktipats by Jan Esmann from Denmark and Mohanji.
Jan interestingly had met Mohanji for the first time, who was, regardless of his intention to be a silent participant, thrown into the limelight by Mohanji. I was given this piece of information by Jan himself as we happened to travel to the airport together.
I also believe that the atmosphere during the Shaktipat turned electrifying with the musical renditions of Natesh Ramsell. What followed was even amazing with strong vibrations of love and faith being passed through intense hugging sessions with all participants.
Blessed are the people who get Shaktipat. Brings in a complete transformation.
Blessed are we to have Mohanji in our lives, who can distantly read our thoughts, feelings and does what needs to be done. All I know is, have faith and the rest is taken care of.
Vote of thanks
I wish to extend my heartfelt thanks to Team Serbia for their prompt replies and meticulous arrangements. Though Mohanji felt more needs to be done to improvise, but at the receiver’s end, I saw no flaws. Thanks to Devi and Biljana for their wonderful Yoga lessons; Natesh, for his soulful music at every Yoga Nidra session and at the hour long Shaktipat session.
Thanks to all the participants who were all so cooperative and in tune with each other to make this the most harmonious trip. Each face oozed divinity and true to Mohanji’s preaching that God resides in each one of us, we just need to recognize HIM.
Special thanks to Hana, Mila and Dragan who healed me in different ways. Nikolina who responded to my calls and emails. Agnieszka, for gifting me this wonderful click! Ajdin, our guide for his knowledgeable and spiritual explanations.
We were lucky to have Dr. Semir Osmanagich, the man who discovered and named the Pyramids, explain to us about the history and the power of the pyramids. He seemed to me extremely spiritually evolved by his talks.
Thanks to Hotel “Park” for the comfortable stay.
I AM BLESSSED!