by Milan Bojic
It was the summer of 2013, strange and strong for many a thing. I spent it in my home town, at my parents’, working on the land we have. Several acres of blackberries had been planted on the ancestral land from my mother’s side. That summer everything had yielded abundantly and I made a deal with my family to get my share from the sold blackberries. Journalistic poverty was taking its toll. I was willing to do anything. I wanted to become an agriculturist and provide income. I spent every day with my family, something which I had not done since I left home and went to study. It had been more than ten years since I spent three months in continuity with my parents, brother and grandfather. The tension in the air was so thick that everything could have flared up had somebody lit a match. All our previous behaviour patterns were revived, with only one difference ~ I had changed drastically. I have been meditating for several years now and have also used various self-development techniques. Now I was exposed to condemnation because of my lifestyle. I didn’t eat meat. I lived according to my spiritual beliefs and I had ideas which did not fit the family image. In some moments I felt as if they were devouring me and crucifying me. I was going through all kinds of phases produced by such human relationships. In short, I was going through chaos.
However, in the shadow of my troubled family relationships, which were going through new kinds of culminations at each successive moment, a strange sort of liberation was being born. One that I could never have imagined.
Meeting the ancestors’ heritage
That morning my grandpa, mother, father and I went to harvest blackberries. We worked all morning, and everything went on as usual. At one moment my mobile phone rang. It was my friend Valentina, a spiritual comrade from many battlefields and desolations of the mind. Through numerous spiritual experiences, we had developed a strong connection. That night she had had a dream where Mohanji gave her an important message concerning me and my relationship with my ancestors. I don’t exactly remember the words she uttered, however, immediately after our conversation, I fell into a mild trance. I felt that something of huge power and significance was about to occur, and I knew that it was about settling ancestors’ heritage and heavy karma. My body was buzzing, and the mind became like a canvas displaying pictures of ancestors who had lived on the very same land I was standing on. They were strong and powerful, they had become rich and arrogant, and in that way they had paved the path to their downfall. They had become prepotent and contemptuous, and they belittled others. People hated them and cursed them, and because of that they were becoming even more obdurate. Even blood was shed. Hatred grew in them. Ego devoured everything in sight. The powerful family lineage, into which the famous Serbian scientist Jovan Cvijić was born, was dying out at the speed of light.
I was born to witness the end of the Avramovic family, the entirety of my mother’s lineage. My grandfather who was able and rich, had now become a poor man, saving each bread crumb. Only female children were being born and with their weddings the Avramovic surname was disappearing. Hectares of the fertile arable land they had owned, were now sold and the remaining areas were shared among the inheritors.
Everything became crystal clear. The success and power of several generations had led to the degeneration and fall of the whole lineage. I clearly saw all my beliefs, all the attitudes I held, as a consequence of family heritage. My relationship with respect to money, work, wealth and poverty. My ego, my world outlook. Everything was the fruit of a carefully chosen ancestors’ lineage, the only one that could gift me with such experience and push me onto the path of liberation.
And the time had come, I was now mature enough to face the family demon.
That is exactly how I saw it for the first time. An enormous, crimson colored cloud, circulating around me. It was suffocating me, putting pressure on my chest. I saw the faces of my grandparents and great-grandparents. I felt the whirlpools of all the negative emotions which had been shed amongst all of them. I could feel the burden of the chains of wasted lives and the bitterness of the curses of those they had hurt with their arrogance. In those moments all I could do was pray to my master. Only his light could break those centuries of darkness.
My father, mother and grandfather were still in the blueberry bushes, and I couldn’t see them. Everything was orchestrated, and the picture and presence of the master were unbelievably strong. I felt as if I was standing in my master, as if I had put on his form and the bright white robe. I was getting clear realisations about the natural flow of life, about ancestors, and the choices and results we all make and endure. The family “demon” was thriving and I felt I had to enter into a fight with him. The master was putting realisations into me, making me aware that I had to go to the ruins of the centuries-old family house. It was there that everything had started. The Avramovic lineage is indigenous. They lived in the western part of Serbia for hundreds of years. Several books even talk about it.
I was a bit scared to go there. I was falling deeper and deeper into trance and fear of a horrible confrontation with the spirits of the past was taking my breath away. Master was putting realisation after realisation into my mind.
A moment of greed
Suddenly, I realised that I didn’t have to fight. I started accepting the demon and directed my awareness to him. Master clearly gave me an instruction to pick twelve blackberries, six in each hand, and to carry them to the ruins of the old house and offer them as a sacrifice.
I stretched my arms to pick the blackberries, but then thought to choose some uglier ones, so that I would not waste beautiful representatives. Then I was pierced with the realisation of my greed. I understood the trick of my mind and my ancestors’ weakness. I decided to choose the best representatives for my ancestors. I picked twelve of the loveliest blackberries and with my hands full I set off to my old family house a kilometer away. While I was walking I fell into complete trance.
Final victory of the consciousness
The demon became too strong, and master’s light became strong, too. The demon was telling me I couldn’t leave him, that I was trying in vain. I trembled, uttering strange sounds, a kind of growling. I was walking with my eyes half closed, almost teetering. Master was shining brightly. Suddenly, mantras started overflowing in my mind. I don’t remember what I was saying, I only know that it had to do with ancestors’ blood, surrender, heritage, choices. Everything was crystal clear at that moment. Each mantra hit the demonic cloud of the ancestors’ heritage like a cannonball. Mantras were appearing in my mind and guided my consciousness in communion. At a certain point in time I became totally conscious. All causes and all effects of my birth in this very family became clear to me. The lessons I learned became clear to me. Suddenly, I could see the demonic cloud with full awareness. I knew everything about it. We were standing facing each other and watching each other. I had strength, for the first time.
While I was approaching the ruins of the house, the cloud was speaking for the last time trying to subdue me. It said that I could not leave it. I calmly replied that now I had freedom of choice and that very choice was my divine right. It became quiet. I climbed up a gentle slope and reached the place where my ancestors used to live. Now even the ruins of the old house were aligned with the ground and overgrown with grass. There was only the stump of a former tree that decorated the yard.
I tightened my hands full of blackberries into fists and a dark crimson juice, like blood, flowed over my hands. My mind was again overflowing with mantras in which I gave all my blood inherited from my ancestors back to them, purified and awakened. Symbolically I wiped my “bloody” hands on the stump and I went straight to the old family spring. I washed my hands ritually with freezing cold water while new mantras were taking turns. With the ancestors’ water I was washing away ancestors’ blood.
I felt incredible lightness and purity. The cloud of family damnation disappeared from my consciousness, and enormous strength filled the body that had trembled until a few moments ago. I could hear my ancestors applaud and sing. I felt as if I had accomplished something substantial for them as well. I became conscious of the choice of all souls, especially souls that were bound by heavy ancestoral and family heritage. Each family is carefully chosen by us with an exactly determined purpose. Each family is a treasury of lessons that we need to learn before we continue on with our journey to further realisations.
I went back to the blackberry bushes, completely unconscious of how long I had been away. To my surprise, nobody had even noticed my absence. Everything was in perfect order. I was silent and melted into one of the most precious spiritual experiences. I understood the master’s words saying that at the right moment everything happens by itself. I had not wanted nor had I done anything to bring about the resolution of this issue. I was simply ready for this experience. The light of my beloved master took me through everything like a parent taking his child for a walk – slowly and tenderly holding the child by the hand.
Since then I surrender my life completely to him. His hand is the light and I will always hold it.