Sri.Sri. Mohanji, my sincere apologies to you for doubting you, as I write this for the sake of spiritual seekers across the world. Perhaps those who understand my mind will find the right answers and happiness. Many of you may have experienced the same thoughts. Those who stay with the superficial can’t be helped anyway. I request Mohanji’s team to kindly publish this, if you choose, without disclosing my name.
Even now, I am surprised that I am doing this. I am generally a skeptical person. I am inspired by people like Ms. Sabrina Mr. Zoran and Ms.Palak Mehta who are bold enough to share their intimate life and the transformation that happened to them in the presence of Mohanji using their own name. I admit that many of us do not have your guts or conviction when it comes to Faith. I often feel that I am a pseudo spiritualist who only takes from everyone, and never gives. In fact many of the seekers of the world are like me. We live in a fake world with fake people. We are all here to take something from saints without wanting to give anything back to anyone. We are generally selfish people with a few exceptions.
I am a rational man and never quite believed in God at most times of my life. I never quite believed in spiritual people as well because I considered that the God men who live in or visit our Delhi area are either criminals in disguise or con-men to power brokers for politicians. I believe we are not exposed to real saints who need nothing from us or at least they do not come to our part of the earth. Perhaps there are some real ones in isolated places. This is not about scriptural knowledge, this is about the true stature of the saint.
I have always been skeptical about the whole Hindu religious structure with its multiple gods, many rituals and also because I was deeply disturbed by the class divides based on the caste system within Hindu life, which I strongly believe is held intact by politicians for the sake of votes. When I was doing my engineering, I realized that in addition to hard work, if one wants to be successful career-wise in India, one has to be born into certain specific castes. In a way, this divide has still left a scar in my mind. I strongly hate discrimination. The worthy should be honored.
Thus disturbed, I decided to explore Christianity. I became part of a Christian group. However, as I became regular with them, what I saw were the clear apparent classes of the rich and the poor. The priests befriended me only for one reason – conversion. And I saw how they subtly manipulate our insecurities. Everyone approaching the places of worship is in some kind of trouble. They become fair game for conversion. They are either brought in by “agents”, whose deep display of benevolence is usually well appreciated by the depressed. They are also deluded in believing they have reached heaven and will not be discriminated anymore. Soon, after conversion, they are no longer needed by anyone. To stay in favor, they must bring more people for conversion. I also understood that conversions were associated with head counts and votes. Votes mean power. Position, power, manipulation… thus goes the story.
I believed that Hindu system and Saints lack unity. Each saint isolates himself in self-created comfort zones. They fight wars with other saints. Thus, they maintain the class difference. After having seen it all, I decided that being neutral and aloof with respect to this mad world of religion was the right way of life. Spirituality is certainly good. Religion is not. Religion only amounts to divisions. Thus I had stopped searching and I was quite content with myself and all my deficiencies.Then one of my colleagues introduced me to the name Mohanji. I spontaneously Googled and discovered he is reasonably famous abroad though little known in India. My first thought was that perhaps he lacked a PR company to support him!
When I first saw the picture of Mohanji, I was as usual quite skeptical. Another Guru! These guys are doing it for the money. Guru-dom is big business these days. I had approached many gurus during my college days and had paid huge bills for some group courses which changed nothing inside! I was not the least bit interested in Mohanji because I was reasonably prejudiced about Gurus in general! Our media always makes it a point to scandalize Hindu gurus for political gains. Then, I happened to come across Mohanji’s blog The Path of Pathlessness. I felt a lot of genuineness in his words and I got many answers. The next blog I read was The Power of Losing. I also found that quite interesting and genuine, as we have been indoctrinated to win! Thus, I read more and more, and gradually moved into the Mohanji Consciousness. After a few months of reading and digesting, I decided to attend his next program in Delhi. I waited. After a few months of waiting, he came. I attended his program. I was eager to hear him talk and interact. My mind still held some skepticism. I asked a few questions and his answers were straight and no-nonsense. In a way I liked it. He was definitely not trying to impress. He seemed to have his own experiences from where he was deriving the knowledge. There was no quoting of scriptures, no blaming other religions and there was no nonsense. He just said everything in a matter of fact way and left the place without any ceremonies.
He seemed genuine. I chatted with one young lady clicking away at Mohanji with her camera, which he did not seem to notice, and asked her – What attracts you to Mohanji? She said, “He is genuine. He is fearless. He genuinely cares without expectations. He is totally unconditional.” Later, as I chatted with another person, I learned much more about Mohanji than what we could glean from the blogs. He is married to a foreigner, he has a baby daughter, he has a corporate job, he earns his livelihood through work, he calls a spade a spade. He has even angered some of his close followers by telling them bitter truths about themselves or scolding them out of love. If he is bold and cares about truth more than relationship, then he is genuine. I always loved people who were truthful and straight. If he is so truthful, then he is definitely needed in today’s world of pseudo spirituality. The world needs Mohanji.
Thus, my first meeting with him, of course from a distance, became a good memory and I developed the urge to be with him and associate with his movement. I found his team were mostly youngsters and they loved him as a father, brother, close friend with whom you can share anything and everything, or as a guide more than a guru. There was a sense of family-ship within Mohanji’s group. No hierarchical feeling. Moreover, Mohanji is on social networks such as Facebook, he takes calls, he answers mails himself, he is available to people without fees or barriers. He has no inhibitions, fears or apparent taboos. He encourages people to do dharmic business and feed the poor. He is concerned about cruelty against animals. He is against female feticide. I became more and more attracted to Mohanji and more than that, to his lifestyle. He seems to live his teachings. He seems to be active in business life, charity and spiritual life. He seems to have no inhibitions as seen from his pictures in various costumes and situations. A bandana and dark glasses for a guru! He has no frame, no image barrier! Good. Perhaps I have found my guide. I still wanted to take more time though before addressing him as my guru. I was still not sure. Then, I heard most people calling him father in Delhi and that suited me too.
In November 2013, Mohanji’s charity institution Ammucare conducted a concert in Delhi for Autism awareness. I felt inclined to support that in my own way because I found genuineness in the eyes of the young team members. There was deep love for Mohanji and for the mission in their hearts. These youngsters were ready to do anything for him. And they call him their father. There were no barriers. I started liking it. At that time, I heard of an accident involving Mohanji’s young daughter. She suffered an 18 foot fall and had head injuries and hemorrhage. It was very serious. His wife also was injured in her head. Suddenly, a gloom spread over the whole group and there was a rumor that the concert would be called off. I thought, “How can that be? If Mohanji is living his teachings, he will not permit anything to stop. How can a personal matter affect a mission matter?” I felt inclined to visit the hospital. Again, my skeptical mind was in action more than any sympathy. I deeply apologize to Mohanji for any mistake I committed in my mind in this regard. I know Mohanji never judges any person and loves unconditionally. So, I have no guilt in me.
When I reached the hospital, I must admit I was quite surprised. The first thing I saw was an unconscious Mila (Mohanji’s daughter) and Mohanji sitting next to her bed, his hand on her head, in deep meditation or communion. There was deep peace on his face. A few people were around the bed. Mohanji sat there for a few minutes and got up as Mila was taken away for examinations. Mohanji was behaving with everyone as if he would otherwise. No anger, no anxiety, no fear and no emotions. He even had a smile on his face. His face calmed everyone. As I was leaving, I heard one person talking about the concert on the phone, perhaps to a concerned volunteer. “The concert must happen. Mohanji said “the show must go on”. Well. My question was answered. Mission is beyond the man.
I visited the hospital twice. Both times, Mohanji’s face was calm and free from worries. I watched him from a distance. I could never imagine myself being like this, if something should ever happen to my children or my wife. Mohanji’s wife Biba was also injured and was in the ICU of the hospital along with Mila. It was indeed an uncomfortable situation. Many people visited the hospital. And many people called Mohanji, offering money and support. He was thanking everyone and refusing offers of all kinds of support. I also heard some people complaining that they were not informed about the accident. I felt amused by this comment. If this happened to any of their family members, would they sit down and start calling people or would they sit in prayers of healing?
I was totally convinced. Mohanji lives his teachings. His inner peace was reflected in his outwardly expressions. If it was not so, panic would have reflected on his face. His own little daughter in ICU and he was absolutely calm! A clear sign of walking the talk. It is easy to preach theories. Most gurus of today are unmarried. They have no children. They have no domestic responsibilities. Here is one guru who is terrestrially just like us, but, clearly above us in consciousness. I felt totally blessed. This incident and my visit to the hospital changed me so much, much more than any speeches, meditations or books. I had to see the practical side of a true guru. I had to see the truth. Here was the truth.
I must add that Mohanji’s followers who were gathered at the hospital also displayed absolute calm and purpose. There was no panic. There was total dedication. More than dedication, there was genuine love and care in their eyes. No wonder Mohanji calls his people, family. The family-ship was visible. Also, there was no over-emphasis of the situation nor any attempt to take undue advantage of anything. The hotel employees of Oberoi where the accident happened told me that, Mohanji and the whole group were perfectly elegant. They had offered rooms to stay in, and many other services but, nobody used anything. A true guru never wants anything nor will he take advantage of any situation in a selfish way.
I think I have written too much. My name or identity does not matter. Mohanji says that we must be fearless and egoless when we deliver the truth. Truth will protect us. Though I understand this, I come from a very orthodox, skeptical family and so would like to keep my identity confidential. However, I want the world to know about Mohanji, the way I have seen him. He is a true master who walks his talk. The biggest test would have been that concerning his own child, especially since he has gone through many personal pains in his past. He remained totally calm and elegant even during a deep crisis of this kind. I compare it in terms of my own state, if it were me in that situation. A crisis tells the truth. What brings forth this equanimity? Total faith. Total conviction in the tradition and God. Total faith in oneself. This one lives his teachings. Mastering crisis. He walks his talk 100%.
I sincerely apologize to any of Mohanji’s followers who may be hurt by my bold statements. I was inspired to write by all those who are bravely sharing their own experiences through Mohanji‘s blogs. More than anything, I am writing this for myself. Mohanji does not need our certificate or appreciation. But, we need these sharings to further our own conviction. The world also needs our testimonials. Many are searching for the right guide and the right path. Our words and testimonials may help someone. We are all pieces of the puzzle. Every fragment has importance and relevance.