I am deeply indebted to you for helping me gain insight. This happened on the day Baba instructed you to initiate Prof. Hassan and Deepali to give Shaktipat. I am sharing my experience, along with some background, for the benefit of our friends.
Experience: On 18 Jan 2010, I returned back from work in the afternoon, quite tired (not that I had really worked hard) and after a quick bite went for a nap…. I had a dream in which I saw Mohanji make me stand up straight with his right hand firm under my chin….and then he made a swift and sort of violent swing of his right upper limb in front of my body….I was expanded, my eyelids felt heavy, I was feeling a loss of balance and, in a panic state, I shouted to Deepali for help………and then I woke up vividly remembering the dream.
Background: Moushami, Deepali and myself had a heavenly and blissful time with Paramahamsa Nithyananda Swamiji during the Inner Awakening in Dec 2009. Mohanji has been already spiritually uplifting us and he blessed us prior to our departure. Paramhansa Nithyananda Swamiji’s cleansing made me light of my karmic baggage. I had already been fully convinced with the ‘click’ that had happened to me with Mohanji, that the ‘faith’ and ‘unconditional love’ are way superior to my intellectual conditioning. Mohanji’s assurance, the BTW meditations, and his blessings, changed me a lot. With this background preparation I went to Swamiji – with a strong ‘vitarka’. Before that for nearly 5-6 months Deepali and myself have been having wonderful understandings of spirituality with Sudeep. Prior to that I did learn a lot from Shri Prem Nirmalji about the spiritual path, and he did help resolve most of my intellectual questions. The 49 Healing Breaths and meditation technique he taught helped me to get grounded. I was destined to follow this spiritual path at this age. The satsangs with Mohanji, however, gave me better understanding and the ‘click’ I mentioned before. Since then I have been yearning to be consistently compassionate and just want to surrender to the Masters with full faith. But constantly I have been feeling the blockage at my ‘anahata’. During the energy darshans in the Inner Awakening at Bidadi, I asked Swamiji for blessings to help me out of my personal problems related to my obsessive thought processes/flashes and the unnecessary intellectual arrogance I have developed over years, which prevented me from being able to share pure unconditional love. He assured me personally: “I will take care of you” and also to all the participants in His high energy Shiva state that He will lifelong provide us His ‘abhaya’.
However, since my return, I have been lethargic, tired, unable to carry on the meditations, irritable with family members, etc. I could just manage the chantings and seek Swamiji’s and Mohanji’s blessings.
In a helpless state, one day, I started connecting with Mohanji’s third eye in deep surrender….
Insight: Later in the evening (18 Jan), I shared this dream with Mohanji and he immediately said: “Sanjay, it was not a dream. You have been connecting with my third eye since some days now and hence I came there astrally to help you. You were very resistant and I had to force you. I have taken away a lot more chunk of your karmic baggage”. I later told him the background happenings since return as mentioned above. Mohanji replied “In one of your past lives, your family had forced you into the ‘bhakti’ marg which you were totally against of. The recent ‘Bhakti’ experience with Swamiji has triggered and surfaced the old past life memories. Your present feelings and turmoil are a part of cleansing that Swamiji has done and this sort of experience has been mentioned in spiritual literature”. What a beautiful insight!
I am feeling much, much better now after the astral experience and explanation. I offer my sincere gratitude to you Mohanji for your unconditional love. I am attempting to sincerely ‘feel’ Swamiji and you from the depth of my heart. I must confess that a major part of my brain has still gone into drafting this letter, but I am convinced that someday I (self) will be able to pour my heart out.
With deep love and surrender,
Dr Sanjay Jaju